HIM AND I

ME & HIM

I am NUNEW CHAWARIN, 19 years old and currently in 1st Year College in Communication Arts.

I knew him since middle school. He and my big brother Bret are best buddies from 2nd Year High School.

He is ZEE PRUK 21 yrs old now currently in 3rd year College of Engineering.

I really don't know why I think differently from him since their high school days... wait...? Did I just say that I have a crush on him? No.... No.. I can't accept that.
WHY??

He is handsome..

He is kind...

He is so charming.. 

He is so cute when smiling..

yes he is a damn good-looking man ever since I knew him.

and why he is also kind to me.. my goodness I have no idea.. ?

Or maybe he thinks of me as a little brother bc he and my brother are freny..but still why?? I'm so fed up right now that I've begun to question myself ... Am I gay? since when? I don't know exactly when I realized.. and I can't accept it. Last time I checked, I was straight, even though I didn't have to try to have a girlfriend... and all of my friends are boys... even though we have a few girls in the group, doesn't mean I'm gay right? and this is also my first time having a crush on a guy. Is it ok to have a crush on him? I can't really discuss this with my friends even with my best friend Nat. I am too ashamed to tell him.. I am scared to be judged, so I just keep it to myself and I promise to bury these feelings forever.