Her Mafia Brothers

Night Terrors

As promised, Damon ordered a selection of finger food for our dinner that we ate in the movie room, and I didn't move from my spot between Nick and Alex. I didn't want to move away from either of them. Nick, because he rescued me, killing somebody for me, and therefore made me feel safe; and Alex just because he was comfy. He had his arm around me and tucked me into his side all night long, letting me use him as a pillow to snuggle against. Alex was huge - the biggest of all my brothers - and his cuddles were almost as good as Jack's. But because he was bigger, he made me feel more secure.

As it got later, I did my best to fight off sleep. I yawned tiredly, rubbing my eyes, fighting to stay awake. I didn't want to sleep. I knew if I did, I would be alone in my bedroom, and that thought absolutely terrified me. Far from being the safe place my bedroom had always been, now it was the place of my worst nightmares. Despite how horrific my years with my mother and her nasty boyfriends had been, I hadn't endured attempted rape with them. Their abuse of me had been physical, mainly. Along with neglect and emotional abuse. But sexually, I'd been safe. Now, I wasn't. Now, my nice soft, warm bed wasn't calling to me. The LED strip lights circling the top of my wall up high near the ceiling didn't glow welcomingly as they had before. Now, they were a reminder of my attacker.

So I fought sleep.

I sat up straight, stiffly, no longer leaning on Alex.

I put my fingers in my mouth, biting down on the knuckles so hard I'm surprised I didn't draw blood.

I opened my eyes wide, refusing to let myself even blink for fear I wouldn't open them again.

I refused to let myself relax and watch the movie. Instead, I sat tense, telling myself over and over again that I had to stay awake.

Unfortunately, it didn't work. Damon noticed my weariness.

"Lean against Alex or Nick and go to sleep, Carrie-girl. You're safe here. I'll carry you up later," he said.

But I shook my head furiously. "I don't want to be alone," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"You won't be alone," Damon said. "We'll all be upstairs with you. I won't carry you up until there's someone else up there too. I promise."

But still, I shook my head.

"Don't want to," I mumbled. "I'm not tired."

Beside me, Nick chuckled. "Sure you're not, little sis." He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in close, lifting me up to sit on his lap. Then he leaned down and whispered in my ear. "My bedroom is right across the hall from yours. Our doorways are opposite. I'll leave my door open, and yours too, then if you so much as whisper during the night, I'll hear you and I'll come. Okay?"

"No," I whispered back fiercely. "No, I'm not tired."

"You're exhausted, little sis."

"No." I shook my head, and fought to get away, but Nick held me securely. It was like he didn't even notice my struggles.

"Stay here," he said. "You've been snuggling with Alex for ages, now it's my turn."

Defeated, I nodded. "Okay. But can I lie down on the couch and put my head on you? Because sitting like this hurts my butt." I felt my face color as I said those last words, and Logan's smirk didn't go unnoticed. Jack noticed it too, because he gave Logan a glare that would have made the average person wither on the spot, and Logan looked a bit sheepish.

"Sorry," he mouthed to me.

"You need a smack upside the head," I grumbled, glaring at Logan.

"Shush, you," Nick said, letting go of me, helping me to lie down on the couch on my side, with my head resting on his lap. His muscular thighs made a good pillow, and his hand traced gentle circles on my head and cheek, soothing me. My legs rested on Alex and he lay his hands on my knees reassuringly.