Amongst the worst

Where am I?

I was surrounded by darkness for what seemed like hours. I couldn't move, I couldn't see, I couldn't do anything. I wasn't even in control of to my own body, and what scared me the most is whoever did this, could be doing anything to me right now and they would have complete control. And that is the scariest part.

I felt my eyes slowly flutter open to a blur.

Why does everything hurt?

It took me a few seconds to realise...

I was tied to a chair, my mouth was taped.

I was in an unfamiliar room with no windows, nothing expect a door. And me.

What the hell is going on?

Where am I ?

I try to talk, scream for help. Anything. Of course that didn't work because my mouth is bloody shut.

I try to wriggle out to no avail.

_________________

How long had I been sitting here? Seems like hours I was left here with nothing but myself and the empty darkness as company.

That was until I heard the door swing open and footsteps coming my way.

I didn't bother to look at who it was. Instead I kept my head down and prayed that I don't die in this room.

"How have you been holding up?" I hear an all too familiar husky voice say as the footsteps kept approaching.

My father.

"Look at me when I speak to you" he demands, I keep my head down. He grabs onto my jaw and harshly pulls my face up so that I'm looking into his big bright eyes.

He stares at me for a few seconds, as if he was inspecting me, trying to understand me.

I had learnt to hide that years ago, he taught me that.

He takes a few steps away then abruptly stops "You know, you really were easier to fool than I thought" I hear him chuckle "But you need to know I will always be one step ahead"

He turns back round to me slowly and pulls out something from his pocket. He walks toward me again and twists the lid open.

He rips the tape of my mouth, so hard I let out a quiet whimper, which he ignores of course.

"Drink this" he demands again

"What is that?" I ask

"Something you desperately need" he smirks

"If you think I will willingly drink anything you give me, you are very mistaken" I spit out

"I told you, this is something you have been looking for but never found it" the smirk on his face remains

I think for a moment, what had I been looking for that I didn't find?

It was as if something on my brain clicked. The disguising potion!

"Why are you doing this?" I scowl "First you kidnap me and trap me in this room now you're giving me the disguising potion to help me?"

He looks at me in amusement.

"Of course by now I've learnt that anything you do, you do for yourself. So why haven't you killed me yet? Why do you need be to drink this?" I ask knowing I probably won't get an answer "Have you lost the ability to speak or something?"

"They'll know about you when I want them to" he says rather harshly

"Once again, if you think I'll abide by your rules you are once again mistaken" I roll my eyes

"That's what I hoped you would say" he begins to stroll around the room with me following his every movement "You know it's funny how little we know about anyone. You never know, the enemy could of been right under your nose the whole time." his grin spreads wider "Come in" he nods to the door and a figure walks in

At first I didn't see much, but once the frame stepped out of the shadows I felt my heart sink.

My breathing became unsteady, I couldn't help the tear that slowly dripped down onto my cheek. My own words seemed to fail me, I opened my mouth intending to say something...anything. But nothing came out.

I blinked the tears gathering up in my eyelids

S-Sam?" I stutter, struggling to get words out as I kept staring at him making sure it was really him.

"It was you this whole time?" My voice breaks

He doesn't say anything, instead he averts his eyes and looks to the floor.

"Why?" I ask, too quietly I didn't even think he heard me.

"I'll leave you two alone" he begins to walk off before stopping next to Sam "Do whatever you have to do to make her listen" he whispers loud enough so I can hear it.

When I hear the door slam shut he opens his mouth to speak but stops himself.

"I-I don't understand?Was it all an act?"

He slightly nods and I felt the tears begin to gather up again.

"You were playing with me this whole time? I whimper, still staring at him searching for an answer.

And just like a jolt of electricity, the pain shot through my nerves, reminding me for the first time in a while that unlike others. I could feel, and that I care.
I care.
I always care.
That's my problem.

And I hate myself for it.

Even thinking about everything, makes me sick.

And flashbacks hurt.

Everything that he said to me, everything he did together. I let myself be with someone for the first time and everything that I was afraid of happening, happened.

"This is all my fault" I breathe out "I did this to myself"

Everything is my fault.

I say It out loud without even meaning to and I swear I see a flash of guilt in his eyes for only a moment.

"And you" I scowl "You're just a coward" I look him in the eye "A filthy coward"

"I had no choice" he finally speaks up "Believe it or not he helped me when I had no one. I owe him"

He says and I almost choke only own spit. "You don't owe him shit. Do you even realise the monster he is? What he plans to do? Did he fill you in on anything" 

Once again he just stared blankly at me.

"You're pathetic, you know that?" I snarl "I'll kill you"

"You know I would be careful with all your threats and demands considering your mother is here in this very room"