Amongst the worst

Letters

"I'm feeling kind of tired, I'm going to go" I finally say

"Oh Raven, have you got a room? Since you just came you're going to need one"

"Um no"

"You can stay at mine, I have lots of room. Room 213." I quickly say

I didn't have time to process their reactions or hear a response from Raven, I just walked away.

I couldn't handle it.

Looking at their faces, knowing I might not remember them soon.

I couldn't handle the fact there might be important things I don't know yet.

About my father

About everything.

"Wait, Rose!" I hear Tyler shout from behind me

I keep walking

His walking turns into running when I didn't stop.

Next thing I knew he was in front of me.

"Please, please Rose just talk to me. I just- I had to ask one final time. If you need help, if there is something you're not telling me. Tell me now. I wouldn't offer help if I didn't think something was up."

I stare up at his sincere face. His beautiful eyes.

I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to sob and cry to him and tell him I'm not fine.

But he can't know.

Not yet.

"There's nothing going on, I've told you everything. I'm just...not over everything. I don't think I'll ever be" I regretted it as soon as I said it

Although it wasn't a total lie.

I think he knew I was lying.

And he knew I wouldn't tell him.

"You should get some rest. Claire and the others will be back soon" he says, a bit of annoyance in his tone and walks past me.

I wanted to understand what he just said.

I really did.

But how could I when I don't know who Claire is

Who is Claire?

__________________

I navigate myself back to my room.

Claire.

Claire.

Claire.

Surely I know this person.

I tried to picture the person in my mind, or how I would imagine them to look like.

I tried searching my mind for any glimpses of memories or recognition from the name.

Slowly, the memories came back to me.

And I remembered her long blonde hair, her golden eyes. 

Claire my sister.