Drowning Beneath The Waves

Chapter 11

When I opened my eyes again, dusk was slowly darkening the water. My muscles were sore as I pushed myself up to a sitting position, and I wondered how long I'd slept. For a minute, I couldn't remember what had happened—how I'd gotten here. Then it all came flooding back.

Hearing that Jonah was awake and asking for me; arriving at the infirmary and running into Coco; learning the extent of his injuries; swimming into his room and glimpsing the bandage on his shoulder. The conversation we'd had floated back to me in bits and pieces. My voice, broken and ragged. "'You could have been—'"

Jonah's response, his own soothing and calm. "'You have no reason to blame yourself. You did nothing wrong.'" As if I really was blameless. As if I didn't live every day with the pit of guilt and shame in my stomach.

Only now there was nothing—no shame, guilt, or sadness. No emotion. My depression had taken over completely, to the point where I didn't feel anything. I'd been sucked into the aforementioned black hole and was forced to watch as it completely consumed me. It had started to take its toll on everything—my daily routine, my appearance.

I went through each day slowly fading away from the happy and bubbly daughter, friend, and sister that I had been. I didn't even recognize myself when I looked in the mirror—a ghost stared back at me. These days, I didn't bother with concealer anymore—barely even had the energy to wash my face.

I listlessly swam into my closet, pulling on a red-and-black dress. When I finally opened my suite door and swam outside, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The usual morning chatter, normally lively and cheerful, sounded subdued and muted to my ears as I swam down to the dining hall.

I knew multiple pairs of eyes had to be on me, but I didn't even notice. Even the images that had haunted me for days on end no longer pulled me from sleep, drew me from a conversation, a class. I felt the ghost of a smile cross my face as I swam to our table and sat down. Mom reached over and squeezed my arm, a worried smile on her face.

Drew's voice made me turn my head, meet his gaze. "Waverly's been asking about you. I told her you hadn't been feeling well." It was word-for-word a conversation we'd had years ago—only under completely different circumstances. I nodded, taking a breath.

It wasn't until we were nearing the end of breakfast that I heard it—the faint sound of singing, growing louder with every breath. I almost ignored it, nearly dismissed it as a product of my exhausted mind. Only when I glimpsed a flash of blonde hair did I flinch, reach for the dagger at my waist.

The thought had barely crossed my mind before I was moving, coming face-to-face with Kailani. I noticed something was off a heartbeat later—her grin was too wide, her eyes too bright. I opened my mouth—to say what, I had no idea—but I didn't get the chance. I shuddered as I felt her grip my shoulder and spin me around, the tip of a dagger drawing a thin line of blood across my neck as it broke the skin.

"Well, Sister," she said softly, the word filled with such bitterness my heart skipped a beat. "Here we are. Just you and me." Her voice was barely above a whisper, no doubt to keep the others in the room from overhearing.

I didn't move a muscle, barely dared to breathe. My heart was pounding, but I managed to keep my voice calm. "How did you become a Siren? How did they lure you in?" Genuine curiosity laced my words, and I wished more than anything I could see her expression.

When I felt her hold on me relax ever-so-slightly, I finally allowed my muscles to relax. But I didn't move. Just waited for her response. It was something that had been niggling at me since we'd first met. She knew most of—if not all of—my past. It only made sense that I learn some of hers.