Drowning Beneath The Waves

Chapter 16

It's torture. I'm being forced to watch as scenario after scenario plays out before me, all featuring Jonah and me. Only it's not showing me the present or the past. It's endless possibilities for the future we'd both hoped to have. It was bad enough that he'd had to leave—hadn't I been through enough? In one such scenario, we're cheering on Drew at one of his cometball games with broad smiles. In another, we're enjoying a leisurely swim together, comfortable silence between us.

Then, in the span of a blink, the scenarios turn darker. Jonah is floating a few feet before me, frozen in place and muscles taut as Kailani grips his shirt. She has a smug smile on her face; her eyes are glittering with their usual malice.

Luckily, I'm close enough to them to hear what she's saying. "Oh, Jonah, I wish you had been there. It was delightful. She put up a fight at first, but once I got her to see things my way, she was practically eating out of my hand. I'm sure the subtle reference to the possibility of you dying had something to do with it as well."

The smug smile widens as she licks her lips. Before I can even blink, her lips are inches from Jonah's ear. "All it took was one word, and she was entranced. I got her to forget about everything—her parents, friends, you—in a few heartbeats. I'm sure if she was still alive and out from under my control, she'd feel remorse, but as it was, she didn't even know what she was doing."

I can all but feel the fight go out of Jonah. He falters as Kailani's grip tightens. My heart shatters.

I'm frozen when I swim beside Kailani. I can't breathe as I stare at him.

His eyes are filled with hopelessness that I know all too well. When they fill with tears, I feel my own eyes start to well. "Jonah, can you hear me?" I say, almost choking on the words. "Please. I'm right here."

He can't hear me, of course. The sob that slips from his mouth is my undoing. I crumple on the ground, tears streaming down my face. With a jolt, I realize that this is a nightmare. It has to be. I know I must wake up, but as I glance at Jonah again, my heart clenches.

Why would I want to? Jonah's right in front of me—close enough for me to hug him. If I wake up, he'll be gone. Even if he doesn't know I'm here, it's better than the alternative.

Before I have the chance to decide, the scenario changes yet again. We're in front of a modest house–not palace standards, but large enough to be very comfortable. Jonah's in front of me again, not moving.

He slowly unlocks the door, his movements robotic, and barely manages a stroke forward before faltering. Grief is etched on his face; tears spill from his eyes and down his cheeks. "Jonah," I say, my voice breaking. "Please. It's me. I'm right here." I reach for him, but to my horror, he doesn't flinch at the contact.

He can't see or hear me. To him, it's as if I'm not even there. His voice is broken and ragged as he says my name, the word filled with such grief that I almost falter. "Faye," he sobs, shoulders shaking with his tears.

Blindly, I go outside, nearly colliding with the door thanks to the tears in my eyes. Heartbreak and grief and fury swirl around inside me, so much so that I almost choke. A scream shatters the silence, stretching until it transforms into a wail. Without warning, my eyes suddenly flew open. This time, I did choke on my breath as I gasped for water, realizing belatedly that I was the one that had screamed.

I missed him so much that it physically hurt. My heart ached with every breath, a wound I knew would never heal. Part of me—as crazy as it sounded—wanted to go searching for him, knowing full well it would be virtually impossible. The contents of his note flashed through my head, sending a shiver down my spine.

Faye, I'm so sorry. I thought I could fix everything. But I messed up. I know it's cowardly, to say goodbye via a note, but I couldn't bear seeing you in person. I hope you know that I love you. Please forgive me.

Based on that, it was pretty clear that he didn't want to be found. Yet that's precisely what I did.

A quick check out my window revealed it to be still early morning—plenty of time to make my way out of the palace under cover of darkness. With shaking hands, I hurriedly got dressed, slipping into a practical dress and grabbing a spare messenger bag I'd gotten for my last birthday. Since I didn't know where he was, it would probably take me several days to find him—if I saw him.

I swallowed hard, banishing that thought before it had time to fully form. I left a hasty note for my parents and Drew, saying I would stay at Waverly's for a few days. Hopefully, no one would question it.

If I ran into Waverly... Well, that was a different story. But I'd deal with it. Stuffing several changes of clothes into the bag, I left a vast enough space for food. I had no idea what the conditions would be like in the open water. Better to be prepared. I slipped my cloak over my shoulder, flipping the hood to cover my face.

Taking a deep breath, I glanced one last time around my suite. My heart thundered in my chest as I slipped out the door, giving me no time to second guess my decision. I kept my face hidden in the shadows of my cloak, all but holding my breath any time I brushed past someone. Luckily, no one batted an eye at me.

I quickly stopped in the kitchen, grabbing several lobsters and pieces of shrimp. It wasn't until I'd reached the front doors that I was blocked.

A warm hand on my shoulder froze me in place. "Faye?" I recognized that voice. Pulling off my hood and forcing a thin smile to my face, I looked into Merrick's concerned eyes.

He moved his hand to my arm, guiding me to a corner of the entryway where we wouldn't be overheard. "Is everything okay? I heard about Jonah." Sorrow darkened his eyes as he looked at me.

Hearing his name almost made me break down. Coupled with the exhaustion, grief, and tension already swirling inside me, I wasn't sure if I could bear it. Taking a steadying breath, I quickly fed him the lie about Waverly. I only felt a stab of guilt as the words left my mouth.

Merrick's face never changed, even after I'd finished speaking. After a few agonizing seconds, during which he scrutinized me, he finally nodded. "Okay. Have fun and be safe. How long do you think you'll be gone?"

I had to think about and word my answer carefully, seeing as my parents would likely question him if I didn't return when I said I would. "No more than two days." The timeline was a spur-of-the-moment decision, one I hoped would work in my favor.

My hands clutched the strap of my messenger bag as he scrutinized me once more, then nodded. He held the door open as I swam into the open water. I hastily flipped my hood back over my face before starting the daunting task ahead of me. When I reached the outskirts of Pelathas, I didn't pause. I knew if I did, I would most likely talk myself out of it.

Hours passed with no activity. I swam nonstop, pausing when my stomach demanded food or my body rest. Finally, when the sun was near setting, I holed up in a cave near the entrance to Aegrem. I divided up my meager meal of shrimp and lobster, eating half of the food and saving the remainder for later.

I curled up in the bundle of cloaks I'd brought, my eyes closing as sleep slowly wrapped me in its embrace.

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