Fiona on Fire | ONC 2023

06. everything ephemeral

After the film completed a circuit of festivals, a distributor picked it up. It was shown in select theaters across the country, with mostly positive reception from audiences. That's when Fiona's agent began to get calls about her. A lot of people wanted her to audition for roles in their movies.

This didn't translate into actually being cast. Week after week, she threw herself into characters from all walks of life. It took months and more than thirty auditions until she booked her second movie role. This one was small, with only a few lines. She played the sister to a main character who struggled with drug addiction. The lines she did get felt emotionally impactful, spoken as her character cried about what her brother was doing to himself. And thankfully, the director was professional and down-to-earth, unlike Benjamin Abernathy.

In the following months, Fiona continued the grind of auditioning and increasingly being cast in supporting roles like this. She now had money in her bank account, enough that she soon decided to take the dive of quitting her waitressing job. This felt risky and exhilarating. It meant she would be screwed if people stopped casting her, but it also meant she could dedicate more time to auditioning and reading scripts, making that less likely to happen.

She began to network and make friends with the crew and cast members. This helped, too. Hollywood was all about connections. If you were somebody important's relative or close friend, it was always much easier to get to the top of the totem pole.

The contacts list on her phone was ever-growing with the numbers of directors she'd worked with, career actors who'd offered her advice, and peers who were also struggling to break into the field of acting. It was a job that required immense dedication, that much was clear.

Out of the blue, one day, her brother Cody called. They had always gotten along but had never been that close.

"Guess who I just saw on the big screen at a tiny theater in Ohio?"

Fiona found herself grinning into the phone. "Which one did you see?" It was shocking to realize she had taken enough roles that she wasn't sure which films were still in theaters.

"Letters From Josephine. My girlfriend chose it, I swear. Very...romantic."

Fiona opened her mouth but didn't quite know what to say. She felt the divide between them—both physical distance and in the states of their lives. "Who are you dating now?" The words felt clumsy.

"Her name's Julia. Met her at OSU. She's amazing. She thinks it's really cool what you're doing." He paused. "Hope you two can meet someday. Are you ever going to visit? Mom and Dad are different these days."

"Different how?"

"They're super proud of you, obviously, but they miss you so much. They don't say it, but I can tell. They watch your work and talk about it nonstop. There's..." He stopped and cleared his throat. "There's an emptiness here without you."

Fiona's pulse thudded in her ears. She let out a tense chuckle. "I'm sure you guys will be fine without me. Listen, Erin says hi. I'll think about flying out there for Christmas since I can afford it now. But I've got a lot of work to do. I'll talk to you later."

She waited a few seconds, heard only silence, then hung up.

Fiona released a shaky breath she didn't realize she'd been holding in. Something about being reminded of her life back in Ohio made her feel uneasy. The memories came back so easily that she felt like she was there again. And she didn't like that. She didn't want to leave everything she was building for herself. She was happier to be here than ever before, the feeling of things finally coming together washing over her at that moment.

And so she continued the obsessive trek toward her goal, one that didn't have a clear endpoint.

***

"Fiona." Her agent called one day, out of breath as if she'd just run a race. "They're casting for a big project, an adaptation of a popular young adult book series. That means multiple movies if the first does well, and potentially hundreds of millions of dollars in profit. The producer has a list of actresses they're interested in, and you're on it. He's a fan of your work, apparently."

Fiona was calm, deliberately not imagining she'd ever be selected. "That's exciting. When can I audition?"

"They want to meet with you first for a chat. Casting will be drawn out, and there would be a contract for three movies over four years. I suggest you get familiar with the books first. I'll send them over to you."

"Thanks, Lucy, I don't know what I'd do without you."

***

Fiona had seen the success of other adaptations of popular books, and she was a little intimidated. Some of the actors became household names and went on to star in many other successful projects. On the other hand, some had been permanently associated with their characters and were the object of rabid fan's obsessions.

It also occurred to her that book fans were hard to please. Were the filmmakers going to stay true to the author's vision, or would loyal fans be left disappointed?

She devoured the books and familiarized herself with the characters and world. The genre was YA science fiction. They told both a love story and one of interstellar journeys and alien encounters.

She knew the adaptation could turn out horribly with the wrong people behind it. But she would prepare to the best of her ability and give this life-changing opportunity a shot.