Fiona on Fire | ONC 2023

13. new heights

Since she had, against all odds, starred in a blockbuster movie, Fiona now wanted to focus on choosing roles that could showcase her full ability as an actress and maybe win her awards. She now had the luxury of being selective about which roles she took.

She had been cast in a new film without an audition. That was something that happened now, sometimes. People had seen her work and knew what she could do. They wanted her name attached to their projects, so she was in high demand, for now.

She still had to film the next two movies for the Unreached trilogy. That meant a lot more quality time with Alex Monet. 

On the set of the second movie, he took their agreement to be friends to heart, never showing any romantic interest between scenes. She hated to admit it, but it made her feel some longing that now she couldn't have him, by her own decision. She'd forgotten how handsome he was, how much he towered over her, and the scent of his cologne.

She was also texting Jack McKennon regularly. He made her laugh. A lot. He was down-to-earth, caring, and respectful.

But she and Alex had quite a few kissing scenes. She thought of herself as a professional, but it was hard not to get wrapped up in these, breathing heavily with his hands in her hair. They'd cut and she'd have to tear away from him, bottle it up, and fix her disheveled hair and makeup—then do it again.

So when Jack asked her out that night, it felt strange to have dinner with one man after repeatedly making out with the other.

"How was your day?" he asked as she sat down opposite him at the cozy diner he'd chosen.

She flinched a bit at that question. "Oh, a bit long. A lot of work." Her mind immediately drifted back to Alex's lips—just where she didn't want it.

This place wasn't a fancy three-Michelin-star restaurant like the one Alex had taken her to. They sat next to a crackling fireplace and ate pecan pancakes topped with strawberries and cream.

"This was the first place I ate when I came here. I thought I'd show it to you. It's a hidden gem."

"It's great," she said. "Feels so warm and homey."

"Yeah, I love the ambiance. And it was a great introduction to American food."

"Is it that different in Ireland?"

"Kind of. For example, people have things like beans and black pudding for breakfast. But also sausage and eggs like you guys do."

"What on earth is black pudding?"

He chuckled. "It's made of, well...blood. I think mostly older people eat it these days, like my dad."

"Gross," she said. "I'd like to try it."

They laughed together. Then Jack paid the bill and Fiona tipped the waiter generously, remembering when she'd been in his position.

They left the restaurant and strolled down the sidewalks together. Some people stared at them, recognition flashing across their faces. In the restaurant, she hadn't noticed anyone else because she had felt fully present with Jack. He was easy to be around; he had a consistently calming and friendly demeanor.

When they locked eyes, his reminded her of the peaceful waters of the Pacific Ocean, sunlight streaking off the crests of gently swaying waves. They talked and walked, and it didn't matter where they went and who was around them. They were in a blissful bubble where everything else became irrelevant.

Soon, darkness dawned and they headed back to their cars.

"Text me anytime," Jack said with one last sincere glance.

She slammed her car door shut, adjusting to the sudden silence and aloneness. The warm, giddy feeling in her heart stayed for hours after they parted ways.

The next morning, though, it was back to Alex. Not just spending time with him—pretending to be deeply in love with him.

In character, they gravitated toward each other, exchanged meaningful glances, and were often in physical contact. It became difficult to break these habits. When they were discussing scenes, she found her hand unconsciously touching Alex's arm or back. Maybe it was just a casual, friendly contact, but it felt odd having so much contrived intimacy with someone that it bled into real interactions.

Soon, though, the second movie of the trilogy wrapped and she had a break from him. It all seemed silly in retrospect, that she would struggle with the boundary she had set herself.

It was time to move on. Fiona called her agent to discuss the type of roles she wanted to take going forward.

"I might have just the thing for you," Lucy said. "They're casting for a really tragic historical project. Needs a strong female lead. Total Oscar bait."

"Great," Fiona said. They chatted casually for a few minutes before hanging up. 

Fiona gazed out the window of her apartment at the sparkling city on the horizon. It felt like things were coming too easily to her, now. She had job security and financial security. There was nothing to worry about, no reason to think anything would go wrong. Still, she wondered when the carefully arranged dominoes of her life would come tumbling down. This couldn't last forever, could it?