Fiona on Fire | ONC 2023

20. new dream

For a while, Fiona lost the passion for acting. There was, it turned out, so much more to life.

She wrote an autobiography. Her management team pushed her to publish it. She was immensely aware of her privilege in getting it swiftly disseminated to stores across the country. Still, she was proud of what she had written and everything she had learned in the process. 

Fiona and Jack both acted in films on a casual basis, if it were possible to do such a thing. They had even done one together to see what that was like. They played a husband and wife whose young son was adamant their house was haunted. The director got angry at them for laughing too much during takes, but they couldn't contain themselves.

She and Jack had a small wedding outdoors, right there on the shores of Greystones. The fresh winds whipped her dress around and her hair into her face, but she loved it. She'd made the town her home. They flew out her parents, her brother and his wife, and the closest friends she'd made along the way. Jack's family and friends didn't have to travel as far, driving down for the weekend.

Jack slipped the ring on her finger, an emerald set in a band engraved with Celtic knots. He brushed stray hairs out of her face and planted a passionate kiss on her lips. She knew she'd made the right decision. 

After three years, she was able to become a naturalized citizen. Another year after that, she and Jack had their first child, Sean. He arrived with Fiona's deep brown hair but Jack's ocean-blue eyes. Two years later, they had a daughter named Cynthia. She inherited Jack's sandy hair and Fiona's chocolate-brown eyes. They were so precious; just looking at them made her heart feel full and warm.

She ended up loaning her parents enough money to finance their new house, with the condition that they put some money into trusts for their grandchildren.

When she acted, Fiona still preferred to take unique and interesting indie roles. She also worked with auteurs who became friends and cast her in multiple of their films. At this point, even if she wanted to star in a huge blockbuster, she doubted they would cast her. She was past age thirty now. She was decidedly not a young, in-demand actress anymore.

One of her movies was picked up by a major film distributor and began to gain traction. Critics gushed over the performances, including her own. She'd played a woman who found herself without a home after escaping an abusive husband. Fiona had put more raw emotion into the role than ever before, embodying the character and her experiences. 

News broke that she was nominated for an award at the biggest show of the year. The phone nearly slipped from her fingers when she read the headline.

Fiona and her family attended the award show. She was once again loaned a dress by a high fashion brand. This one was a shade of beige, the fabric loose silk that gathered at her waist.

As they filed into the seats, Fiona spotted fresh-faced young stars who reminded her of herself at their ages. She didn't know their individual stories, but she knew they had faced a path of hardship to get there, even if they'd had a lot of help from influential relatives. Those first years of auditions had often felt crushing, and yet, she had retained a sliver of hope that got her through it all. She didn't think she could bear to go through that again. Her younger self had so much drive toward that one dream, but now, she had her eyes on multiple goals and could never pursue something so singularly. 

The show began. There were bad jokes, musical performances, and probably manufactured moments of drama and controversy. The night dragged on for hours. Some people grew restless and shifted uncomfortably in their seats, crammed into tight clothes. Others were visibly starry-eyed or in awe of what they were seeing. Fiona thought you could tell how jaded an actor was by their face three hours into an awards show.

At last, they arrived at the best actress category, for which Fiona was nominated. She didn't have any expectation that she was going to win. She was thrilled to even be nominated.

Then they opened the envelope and called her name. Time froze. Jack looked at her, his eyes full of admiration. For a moment, she swore they were the only ones in the room.

Then the roar of applause rose in her ears, and people began to usher her forward with smiling faces. She stood shakily and marched through the crowd, tears forming in her eyes. Everything was hazy. It took all her effort not to stumble in her heels or get lost in the sea of people and long dress trains.

It was the first time she'd been onstage at an award show since first meeting her husband. The memory brought forth more tears. He had been kind and supportive from the very first moment she met him, helping her, a stranger, through a low moment. She wished he could come with her, but this time, she had to do it alone.

Fiona gazed out at the crowd, spotting the area she'd been sitting, where her costars and family were beaming. She felt locked in complete disbelief, but somehow, her mouth was able to form words.

"I'd like to thank all the usual suspects—my parents for bringing me into this world. The writers, producers, the director of our film, my wonderful costars who made my performance what it is. I'd be nothing without them. All of the cast and crew, really. Every single person who made my ill-advised journey into acting possible. Thank you."

"Jack. I love you. You already know it. Forever. And to our children Cynthia and Sean, who are here tonight—Mommy did it!" She raised the heavy gold award overhead. The crowd erupted with cheers, whistles, and applause. She couldn't hold them in any longer; tears of gratitude streaked down her face.

The rest of the show was a blur of faces congratulating her as she held the award tight, only letting go so her kids could hold it. She and Jack skipped the after-parties, heading to their hotel that night to celebrate. After the kids fell asleep, they sat in front of the fireplace, savoring the afterglow of the moment until the sun began to shine over the horizon.

***

One summer, Fiona and Jack took their growing kids on holiday to the United States. They were old enough then that they might remember the experience. Fiona adored their Irish accents, but she also wanted them to have some connection to their mother's country of origin. The family stopped in New York City, Fiona's parents' new house in Ohio, Yellowstone National Park, and Los Angeles.

When they were at a huge mall in Los Angeles, on the last leg of their trip, Fiona remembered something.

She had brought something special with her—that she'd kept all these years from Ohio. It was the quarter. Her lucky quarter she had flipped to make her decision to move to LA.

She took her daughter Cynthia's tiny hand and folded the coin in her fingers.

"Wanna throw this into the big fountain over there?"

"Yes!"

"Make a big wish. It might just come true."

__________

The end.

I used to be so bad at sticking to things, planning stories, and coming up with endings. I definitely have a lot of room to grow in writing. Right now, though, I'm happy I managed to write 20k words in about two months (I started in late February). I used to struggle to motivate myself to post a 1000-word chapter on a monthly basis.

I may write an alternate ending someday. I feel like people like happy endings, and so do I. But I also like extremely dark, tragic, and devastating endings. Fiona's path could have taken a much different turn. For example, what if she had ended up with Alex Monet? :)