Eliys (+18)

I AM SCHIZOID

I squinted my eyes. Everywhere is vaguely between dream and reality and I

I was in my room. My nightgown was sticking to my skin, soaking wet. I slowly lifted the cover off me. I staggered to my feet, holding onto the metal headboard at the head of my bed to keep my balance. I walked barefoot towards the door. I was so exhausted and weak that I barely made my way to the bathroom.

I grabbed the sink, turned the faucet and washed my face. When I looked in the mirror, I noticed an insect walking in the mirror. It was a maggot. I slowly picked it up, traced it from there between my fingers, and threw it in the sink. When I looked in the mirror again, I was startled with horror because there were thousands of maggots and even above me almost all over my body. I was trying to get over myself with panic like crazy. The more I try, the more they multiply. I fell to the ground and screamed!!! Thinking that I will die of fear.

Suddenly, the door swung open. My mom sat down, started to shout at me "Esin!! Esin!!!". She hug me strictly.

"No problem dear. Nightmare, All of them are nightmare, not real"
I couldn't hear my mother, then she shook me and slapped me in the face. I could only come to my senses with the force of the slap. I shut up and took my hands from my ears and opened my eyes.

At that moment, I just hugged my mother tightly. I was so helpless that I'm getting more lost every day and I can't do anything but cry...I just cry. I looked at my mother in pain. My eyelids are swollen, my eyes are filled with blood from crying.

"Mom, what's my problem? Why cannot I be like everyone? When will it finish? I cannot stand more, I am getting down mom!!!"

My mom touched to my hair:

"It'll finish, I promise, it'll finish dear."
At that time, I saw Aylin, she came to the sound. At the bathroom door she looks at me indifferently, looking at me with her frivolous eyes.
My mom: "let's dear, let's have a shower"
Yes, because I pissed my pants out of fear. She took a shower and put on clean clothes. She laid me on my bed in my room.

"Now, are you better?"
"What happened to me mom?"
My mother sat next to me on the edge of my bed. Pulling my wet hair that fell on my face to the side:
"They found you unconscious on a bench in the rain. Who knows how long you stayed? They took you to the hospital right away. They called me. You were burning with fever, the doctors intervened immediately. You've been sleeping for three days."
Yes, I remember now, I vaguely remember. For a brief moment I remember Pervin, and then someone standing by my window.

Putting her hand on my mind:

"Don't be scared of dear, now you're well look your fever is down."
I don't remember Aylin or Birsen. I asked "did they wonder about me?"
" Of course, my dear, they were always with you."
Unfortunately, my mother can't lie well. I slept for three whole days.

"OMG, I've been fired for sure."
My mom: " no they called from the restaurant. The manager was worried about you. On the contrary, he was very kind. He always asked about you. He said if we needed anything. It was very relevant."

I got surprised it too much. This is not Fehmi's character, that scumbag can't do anyone any favors.
"Who's Fehmi?"
"Manager, who was calling you."
" Well, the name of the person who called me was Emirhan."
"Emirhan? Who is he?"

Anyway, my mom definitely got it wrong.

I was well calmed down, my body was like a wreck. tired, exhausted...

My mom, "I'll make soup to you now, I'll turn."

I took a deep breath. I remember that night. For a moment I raised my hand to reach my neck, but I was hesitant and pulled back. I got my crystal ball next to my lampshade. It was my father's first and last gift to me. I watched a little bit of the dancing little princess inside. I lifted my head and touched my neck with my hand, closed my eyes and waited for a while. Everything was normal. I tried again and again, again no, it wasn't working. I was dreaming every time I touched it that night. I left the globe in its place. I turned to the right and looked at the stars from my window and just slept. I was tired and very...