It's okay to be me {Jungkook ff}

8: My Laceration

But I'm curious, why did he help me?

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"Wtf? Soo Jin." I hear a loud scream as soon as I answer my phone.

"Hello to you too Soo Ah."

"Don't you hello me. Why the hell did you go ahead and tell this lie to Jk."

"I was caught off guarded when he talked to me so I-"

"I don't fucking care about you being caught off guarded. How are you gonna fix this now? I lied because of you." She screams her voice becoming more and more high pitched with every word she utters.

But I don't have the patience to listen to her scolding me,"Look I didn't tell you to lie. You did it on your own." I respond calmly.

"Are you saying this is my fault? Well typical Soo Jin blames everyone else for her short comings." She huffs.

"I-" Before I could even start talking she hang up the phone.

Soo Ah never calls me but on the rare occasions she does we just end up fighting. Actually no she just says what she wants and hang up.

Too much for a conversion. Well she will call again when she calms down. I guess.

I was laying on my bed but as soon as I close my eyes I was interrupted by a knock on the door. I sigh irritated and went to open the door thinking it was probably Mr.Jun the driver because he told me he would bring my stuff earlier.

But to my surprise it was Kim Taehyung not Mr. Jun standing there with my luggage. I was shocked to say the least.

"I got your luggage for you." He says casually while pushing it a little towards me.

I take the baggage from him but I don't know what to say. So I just smile awkwardly. "I saw it downstairs and thought you would need it."

I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to go through the trouble of carrying my luggage up all these stairs which are too tiring to even walk with nothing in your hands. It was the reason that I accepted Mr. Jun's offer when he said he would bring my stuff up for me or else I wouldn't have allowed a person way older than me to run my errands for me.

"You didn't have to." I whispered. I meant for it to sound thankful but it just sounded rude and mean.

"I know but" he paused for a second "I just wanted to."

I nod my head my eyes glued to the ground from the moment I opened the door till now. I want to say thank you but I just can't seem to talk.

There was seconds of silence between us till Taehyung told me he will be going to his room and he will see me at dinner. I replied with an ok which was just pathetic of me. I didn't even say thank you or see you at dinner back.

I exhale frustrated at myself while lying back on my bed again. Why was I like this? I mean there are 7 billion people in this world and I had to be Soo Jin why couldn't I have been Soo Ah or someone else.

My hand automatically reached out for my journal. Well I guess this is my cue to start writing. I call it a journal so that it sounds cool but it's just a diary. I need to talk but there is no one that is interested enough in me to hear me talk about myself. So I just write it all down.

Hey mom. How are you? I know I haven't written to you these days I'm sure you have missed me just as much as I did. I was really busy with class this past week we had a test and I was too focused on that. And it turned out great since I got a perfect score. Yep I know your proud.

Anyways mom you won't believe what happened in these two days.....

I continued writing everything down starting from every word I didn't say to everything they made me feel. And after I was done writing I felt like I said all the things I wanted to say which brought a sense of relief to me.

I was hit with a pang of hunger making me realize that I haven't eaten anything all day. But I chose to ignore it and work on my assignment since I had no right to go around looking for food in someone else's house.

Not that I had any right to go around looking for food in my house. I mean the fat cells am carrying can last me a year.

I was halfway through my assignments when I was told to come downstairs to eat dinner. I honestly didn't want to go there and sit at the same table with Ms.Kim. I also don't wanna eat in front of them. But I still went downstairs just to be courteous.

I went into their simple yet luxurious dining room and I noticed this the first time I came here but this dining room is huge especially for three people. I mean back at our house we don't even have a dining room we just have a simple round table with three chairs in our kitchen.

Mr. Kim was talking to Ms. Kim while Taehyung was on his phone. I just stood there waiting for one of them to notice me. And Mr. Kim does after a short while.

"Your finally here." he says, taking a sip from his water. "We were waiting for you."

This makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to eat but I don't know how I can slip out of this situation so I just decided to sit for the time being.

Mr.Kim was sitting at the head of the table while Ms.Kim was at his right and Taehyung was at his left.

I couldn't sit next to Ms. Kim or sit several chairs away from them so I chose to sit next to Taehyung which earned me a smile from him.

All the food was already set up on the table. And honestly it could feed an entire village for a day. Okay maybe not for a day but it could cover their dinner at least.

Everything looked so good from the simplest water to the chocolate cake that was sitting in the middle.

I love chocolate and anything that has chocolate in it.

The housekeepers came and started helping them place food on there plate. One of them came over to me but I politely declined her.

Taehyung notices this, "Why aren't you eating?" He asks. Which shifts Mr. and Ms. Kim's attention to me.

I made a bad choice by sitting next to him. I am sure Ms. Kim wouldn't have noticed anything. "I ate a lot on lunch so I'm full." I blurt out the first thing that came to my mind.

Ms. Kim snickers, "It's obvious that you eat a lot." She pauses for a moment, "You should really give your belly some break or it might pop." She giggles.

I could feel my tears creeping their way up to my eyes. The whole room was silent and Taehyung was looking at me with an apologetic look. I hate it. I hate it when people pity me. I hate the fact that I can't say anything back to her. I hate everything.

Mr.Kim gave her a quick glare which makes her frown. I could tell Mr. Kim was thinking of something to say to me that could possibly erase what his wife said to me. But I didn't give him the chance. I told them I had a homework I have to finish and went upstairs. They didn't say anything to me other than good night.

I went to my room and felt all the frustration I felt just hours ago maybe even more. It's only been one day but all I want to do is go back to my house. I lay on my bed and just start crying my eyes out.

I forgot how hard it was for me with strangers. I forgot how cruel people are to me. I shouldn't have come here in the first place. I didn't want to go to my aunt's for the same reason I don't want to say here.

I am humiliated having to hear her mock me but I'm more humiliated and angry because there were two more people sitting there and witnessing the moment. I am used to people connecting everything I say and do to one of the reasons am fat. But I'm not used to other people hearing them with me.

Funny how am used to it but it never gets better and hurt less. It gets me every time it sullens my mood every time someone mentions it.

I guess it's true when they say some wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word. And this was my wound and it bleeds every time it is reminded of this three lettered word. 'FAT'

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