My Life Without Her

-Him-

Losing Eleanor that day was the second worse day of my life, losing my mom was the worse one. The look on her face when I told her I was leaving still haunts me, it still hurts to remember; even if it's been seven years. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me since my mom and I lost her too. All because of my dad.

I knew she didn't believe my motives, but I couldn't stick around and explain everything detailed to her, it'd just be harder to leave her after that; just saying it was hard enough. I loved her, and I had to let her go.

"What's got you in such a glum mood, mate?" my best friend, Jacob said as he and my other best friend Greg slipped into the booth of the coffee house "Please tell me you're not thinking about that girl again." he moaned and I glared at him slightly as I sipped on my coffee "What was her name, again?" he asked as he closed his eyes and lifted his head slightly, as if waiting for the answer to come from the heavens

"Eleanor." I muttered, her name feeling foreign on my tongue since I had never really used her real name before "Her name is Eleanor." I said with a sigh, he nodded as Greg shook his head

"It's been seven years, man." he said "You need to move on, like seriously." he said, Jacob nodded in agreement

"It's true, mate." he said in his heavy british accent "It's not healthy."

"You guys don't understand." I said as I looked out the window "She's the first girl I've ever loved." I whispered "That kind of feeling just doesn't go away."

"I'd hook you up with one of my girl's friends but... one of them is getting married soon and the other one's engaged." he said with a shrug "Can't remember their names, though." he said and I chuckled

"You really are the worst at remembering names." I said as I shook my head with a smile "And no thanks." I answered "Not looking for a relationship."

"One night stand?" he winced and I glared at him again as Greg chuckled, patting his back as he shook his head "Sorry."

"So, when do we get to meet your girl? Speaking of." Greg said, Jacob smirked and I looked at him intently

"I forgot, she wants to meet you guys, later tonight." he said "All her friends are here in town and she thinks it's perfect." he said as he rummaged through my stuff beside him

"What are you looking for?" I said as he raised his finger at me, shaking his head

"Pen." he answered, he picked something up and shook his head at me "Really, Luke?" he said as he raised the book and placed it in front of me. Angel, by Eleanor Grey. "I can't believe you still read this thing." he breathed "It's a great book, but come on..."

"Like I said," I said as I snatched the book from his grasp and examined the cover intently, smiling faintly "you guys will never understand."

"We know that, Luke." Greg said "But reading that book over and over again? Not healthy."

"This is my life, guys." I said with a shrug "It's all here, permanently on paper. I can't..." I whispered, Jacob shook his head

"Let's just change the converstaion here, it's kind of a downer." he muttered "Are you guys in or not?" he asked "I have to text her to confirm."

"What's her name, again?" I asked and he shook his head with a small smile

"That my friend, will remain a secret."

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Picture of Diego Barrueco as Luke Anderson on the side.