Soul Bound

The Perfect Trophy

Trophy. Testament. Triumph. It was what Uncle desired above all else.

See? Witness what can be fashioned if discipline and the training to suppress one's self is adhered to. He could trot Lan XiChen and Lan Zhan out to all of Cloud Recesses, to Gusu, to the world and say, 'I have taken boys from parents whose imperfections stood in the way of them attaining their best and this is the result.'

Lan Zhan sat in the dust, and they could all hear the sound of defeated laughter, dead and vacant of humor. Lan XiChen and Wei Ying rushed to his side, gripping his forearms. 

"Lan Zhan! Don't do this. Really, I can be happy anywhere. Lotus Pier sounds lovely. Really. It will be okay."

Lan XiChen was nearing panic. He heard echoes of the same despair of two years ago; the same despair that had put Lan Zhan in a coma, preferring death to Lan Qiren's tyranny.

"His voice choked on fear. "Brother. Stop!!! Please don't travel this path again. Please. I cannot bear this life without you. I will not!"

"No. Of course not. I would not ask that of you. How could I dare?" The voice was deeply quiet, bitter beyond words. The blue-black hair covering his face shone in the noon sun, with his head was buried in his arms; it was all the other three could see. "I am not even allowed that, am I?" Lan XiChen recoiled in hurt at the brutal honesty in the raw voice

Lan Zhan looked up finally, face devoid of light and hope. He stared at his brother.

"When does it end? When will the demands of our hearts be what we finally listen to, and we can say no to the demands of duty and clan? When can we belong just to us?"

Lan XiChen met his gaze in an equal amount of sorrow. He could be nothing but honest. "I don't know if we ever will."

There was a moment, so quiet and so still, that none of the children dared to breathe. The Lan Zhan nodded once. He stood up and brushed his tunic clean.

"Where is my kite? If Xue Yang is not wise today, he will die."

As he walked away, Wei Ying followed, tugging at his sleeve.

"Lan Zhan, please no. He is not worth it. He is a street thug. You...you are a Lord. You are someone who can better things; make a difference. If you kill that asshole, it will ruin you. And you would be doing it for the wrong reasons. Just because of your anger at your Uncle. It is not right."

"And later, when he is grown? What sort of monster will he become? What sort of pain will he cause to untold others? Killing him in an 'accident' today could save the world a great deal of sorrow. And who would care?"

"I would. I would not like to see my friend destroy himself."

Lan Zhan looked down at his friend's pleading face. He thought long and hard. "I will consider what you have said, but I cannot promise. He is offal, Wei Ying, and a danger. I cannot promise."

"Good. Good. Just think about it." 

"Think. That is all I do, think; Wei Ying, I can't even breathe. I am so lost in thought that there is no room for me. I just want to be me and the hell with everything and everyone else. But there is my brother, and I owe him my very life. If I desert him, he would be alone. And I can never do that to him again."

"Did you leave him before?"

"Yes. It was all so unbearable. I gave up it all up, even part of my soul. He grew sick because of me. I can not cause him harm again. I must endure anyway I can."

Lan XiChen is very lucky. And so are you."

But I do not want to give you up. You and Kirin are my only friends."

"And we will find a way. Even if we separate for a while. We will always be friends."

Lan Zhan's closed his eyes. He could no longer look at the silver ones that watched him in worry. "I may have to lock all of this away to survive the rest of my time in Cloud Recesses." A tear slid down the jade cheek.

"Then do it. We will meet later when we are old enough to be together without interference. We can pop open that lock, dust this time off, and enjoy it again, okay? Lan Zhan, okay?"

"Okay."

Now, let's go fight kites."

They found their way back to Lan XiChen and Kirin. The elder boy reached out to grasp his brother's shoulders. "Lan Zhan, are you alright?"

Lan Zhan reached up to hold the shaking hands.

"I am fine, Brother.  Do not worry."

"I am sorry about Uncle's decision. I pushed as far as I dared. Is there anything I can do to make this easier?"

Lan Zhan shook his head slowly. "No. It is more important that the others have secure homes. Shelter, food, clothes. Education. Places to cultivate. There are several simple requests, if possible."

"I will do all I can."

"I want to meet Jiang Fengmian and Lan Li Jun. I want to judge them for myself."

"Both parties are arriving in two more days. They left when they both received the requests from Uncle. They met up in Yunmeng and will separate there on the journey back."

"Good. At least Kirin and Wei Ying will have several more days together."

"You said there were several requests?"

Yes, Gege. I would like the privacy of one of the pack palanquins for my own use. I feel the need to increase my study and meditation time on the way back. I will only need a comfortable palette, a cushion, my books, and dark drapes. However,I would take my meals with you and Uncle. I crave some intense solitude on the trip back to Cloud Recesses."

"May I join you for meditation upon occasion?"

Lan Zhan smiled. "Of course!"

"I will make certain that you have your wish, Didi. Your incense burner will be placed there as well as a supply of sandalwood incense and candles."

"Whatever you suggest. I am sure I will be comfortable with everything you supply. { won't waste my breath asking you to not go overboard. I know you too well."

"It will be the least I am able to do for you."

"I must have this time. I want Uncle to see his perfect trophy when we debark at Cloud Recesses. I will need to play that role for the rest of my life, after all."

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