Spider-Son & Iron Dad two shots

The Kidnapping Conundrum

a/n: another co-written chapter with the brilliant and talented stormunavaliable <3 <3 they'll be posting this on their book too, so go check their writing out it is so fantastic!!! with that, we hope u enjoy this crackish oneshot, also happy birthday peter parker!!

Peter landed on the tarmac and listened as Tony's metal boots landed behind him. He turned around and watched Tony's helmet flip up to reveal an extremely annoyed look on the man's face, no mask to hide the fact he had been fuming the entire flight back.

"Kid, you are in a world of trouble. Are you hurt? Any injuries? Anything I should know about before I tear you a new one? I'm listening," Tony gritted out.

    Peter ripped his mask off forcefully as he let out a harsh, short breath. He was seconds away from his fuse being blown. Peter was just as annoyed with Tony and Tony was with him. Still, he had the dignity to answer the question. "I'm fine, okay? You don't have to be on my back so much," he said as he gripped his mask and stalked toward the compound.

"Oh, really?" Tony stormed after him. "If anything, I should be on your back even more, considering you don't listen when I give you even the clearest instructions. Here, I even have a familiar example for you— 'Peter, fall back, that guy is dangerous, that's an order.' Surely you heard me saying that, right? Or did your super-hearing just, I don't know, randomly decide to take a vacation day without informing the manager."

    "You're still on that," Peter asked venomously. He whipped around to face Tony. "I already told you: There was no reason for me not to approach the guy. We face dangerous people all the time! That's our job! What was different about this time?" He clenched his fists so hard together that they trembled. "I don't see what the problem is?! No one got hurt, so there is no reason to be making this big of a deal about it, okay? So, please, can we just drop it already?" He started to walk away again, clearly over this conversation.

"Don't walk away when I'm talking to you." Peter turned around and watched as Tony's face twisted up. "We're not done. You're acting like a toddler— the whole 'it didn't happen, so it can't happen' mentality? Peter, you could have gotten hurt. I think I give you a lot of freedom on these patrols to do your thing, use your— your vigilante creativity, or whatever, but when I give an order, it's final. It's an executive decision, made by the adult, to keep you safe. This isn't anything you have the right to argue about—"

    "This isn't anything to–" Peter laughed breathlessly. "Do you even hear yourself? Last time I checked—Tony—I did have the right to argue about things that directly relate to me. Also, I don't need any of your 'you could have gotten hurt' or 'I'm the adult' bullshit."

He took a deep, steadying breath. This was getting out of hand, but the fuse had already broken– smoke was already billowing in. He needed to stop yelling and just explain. "There's going to be a time when you aren't there and I'm going to have to make my own decision. Maybe you should be preparing me for that moment instead of holding me back! Instead of keeping me as the– the safe, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man."

    Tony inhaled shakily, his jaw set in a firm line. He held out an accusing finger. "It's my job to keep you safe until that point, which for the record, isn't for the very, very, far future. You're sixteen, Peter. You're a kid! You're not even—" Tony stuttered over his words, getting angrier as he went on. "You still have nightmares every time you come over to spend the night, for godsake. Excuse me, if I want to try and relieve that kind of stress from you, at least a little bit while I still can!"

    Peter stumbled back. Those nightmares had always been something they never spoke about. It was an unwritten rule the two of them had. He'd wake up shaking and nauseous and Tony would just be there, rubbing his back, and by the time Peter woke up the next morning it would be back to their normal routine. He'd always felt safe by that, the idea he'd be able to break apart and put himself together, and Tony would still think the same of him. The idea that even if he were broken, he was still capable, and strong, and– and–