An Inconvenient Attachment

Chapter 18

DELANEY

"I am so deeply in love with you, August Carter."

Alarm bells are pounding through my head.

But I don't care.

I just made either the best decision of my life or the worst. And I don't care. That would have to be the first time in my life that I have made an impulsive decision. Typically I would be sure to analyze and put myself in every different position before I make a life-changing conclusion.

Getting a little lost in my head, he can pull me out of it, just like he has done multiple times before, and leans down to kiss me again. He smashes our mouths together, passion-filled, neither of us wanting to let go. Somehow I think we get closer; even though I thought it was damn near impossible with practically nothing separating us. 

His forehead is leaning against mine again, his breaths deep and shallow, "Good," I give him a confused look before he continues, "I'm head over heels for you as well."

We start to get a bit more frisky and one thing leads to another where we are all over each other, his hands travelling all over me and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. Gus has that effect making it seem like I hung the stars. We're both lost in each other, my sweatshirt somehow coming off during the process now just leaving me in nothing but my sports bra. His lips travel down my neck leaving me with frazzled thoughts. 

"Gus... ple-"

"Hey ma- What. The. Fuck."

Willy's voice booms through the room and the door nearly swings off its hinges. Oh. My. Fucking. God. I need to find the nearest cliff ASAP. Damn, Willy always has to ruin these things. We basically ripped ourselves off each other like a bandaid but I'm still sitting here sporting nothing but my bra and athletic shorts that have ridden so far up my ass, they basically look like a thong. August is sporting extra messy hair, a crinkled shirt and what looks like a tent in his pants. Poor guy. 

I'm more than happy to look for an escape out of here. I'm also the first to speak up, "You know what? I'm just gonna head out. Um... it was nice... uhhh... talking to you, Gus. And I'll see you at home, Willy. Umm... yeah, I'll just see myself out. Bye." However, once I'm down the hallway I let a massive smile break out on my face, I cannot believe I had the guts to do that. As fast as I am able to go on these stupid crutches, I head down the stairs and am about to head out the front door when it swings open. There rushes in Rosalie, we're both displaying the same big smiles except both for different reasons - I hope - however she too seems to have tousled hair and smeared lipstick. 

"Ohh! Hello... Delaney," She says almost breathless. 

"Hey, Rosalie. I was just heading out. Bye," As much as I would love to stick around and chat. I do not want to face Willy. A moment passes and we both give knowing looks to one another. We can only assume since neither is opening up. That's fine, I'm not sure I wanna know. Giving no reason for my abrupt departure I finally get out into the fresh air. 

Deciding to enjoy the sunset on the beach behind the house I sit down on the sand just in front of the low bushes that lead to our backyard. It's beautiful out here tonight. Pinks and oranges paint the sky and I feel so blessed to have this view just outside my back door. 

I start to zone out, getting lost in my own thoughts as I sit there. It's ok they, they're good thoughts. About Gus, about the girls and how more and more recently I have started to feel a lot happier. Happier with where I'm headed, happier with my friendships and connections, and happier just to be here. I can't wait until it's winter and see this beach covered in snow, and the lake covered in ice. As much as I love summer I would say that late Autumn and early winter is my favourite time of year. Kind of like seasonal depression, I think I have seasonal happiness. The time when I feel at peace. 

I started to think about the kiss between Gus and me. Unfortunately, one thing starts to lead to another. All of the cons start to outweigh the pros and the waves of anxiety come settling in. If we do become a thing I then have a million and one other things to worry about. Would he truly love me? Be with me there when I can't be there for myself? Would he stay loyal? How would it work after graduation? Can I trust hi-

"Delaney? Are you there, sweetie?" My brain finally goes silent as I switch my gaze to my Mum who is sitting next to me. She lets out a sigh of relief as she gains my attention. "I came looking for you because you just rushed out of the house earlier and hadn't seen you since. I sent Willy out looking for you earlier but haven't heard back from him. Are you doing okay?"

I mean, yeah I am, I was just mentioning how free and happy I feel. "Yeah of course I am.  I was just thinking about some things. But yes, I am happy." I answer her firmly. 

"That wasn't my question. I asked if you were doing okay. Just because you're happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. Which in your world is everything."

"No, it's not. Not everything needs to be perfect," I quickly deflect, but she catches my bluff.

"I am your mother, I know you more than you think," She pauses and looks out onto the water before continuing, "I think the thing that keeps you from reaching your full potential is that you search for something or do something until it's perfect. Perfect with no rough edges, nothing that could come back and bite you later on, nothing that causes embarrassment. That's where I will never understand how you and Will are twins. He takes so many risks and just goes with the flow. Not thinking of consequences until after the damage is done. 

"I think that's where you also need to realise that it's ok to make mistakes, put your feelings first and learn to accept the imperfections of life because, that, is when. You. Become. Truly. Happy. Do it for memories and love. I know you're already deeply in love. And that's okay because it's a part of girlhood. All the little mistakes, embarrassments and imperfections make life truly worth living."

We both sit there for a beat. I'm sitting there in complete shock and she is silently smiling to herself as she watches the last ray of sun go down. "Wow, Mum. I truly do not know what to say to that...I love you," I lay my head on her shoulder and she gives me a kiss on my forehead. 

"I guess I see you get lost sometimes and I remember feeling like that at your age. An only child with emotionally unavailable parents. I promised myself that I would never treat my kids like that."

"Well not to be biased or anything but I think you did a pretty awesome job. You're the best Mum anyone could ever have."

She starts to stand helping me up, "I am pretty awesome aren't I? Come on dinners are almost ready, plus your Dad and Willy are home. Now let me hear about the kiss" She walks beside me and my crutches all the way inside listening contently to my story getting excited at exactly the right times. I love my Mum with my whole heart, she is like another best friend and I will be forever grateful for her. 

I'm alive ... 🤗. Sorry I haven't been updating as much but I have been a tad busy. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's possibly one of my favourites ever. Willy needs to learn better timing and also what game could Rosalie Carter possibly be playing at 😦. 

I hope that everyone reading this is doing okay and I hope you know that you are loved and appreciated because I love you guys so much. I may also need to take some of Mamma Hughes' advice because it hit differently.

Song: Dear Reader - Taylor Swift

Words: 1328