Rise of The Fallen (unedited Version) (COMPLETED)

chapter 39

–kora–

Why must everything regarding my love life have to be so complicated? Why is it that every time I feel even the slightest bit for someone they end up hurting me?

Why can't I just find love and be happy?! Am I destined to be miserable and alone the rest of my life? Is that it? Are some people just born cursed? Everyone I've ever cared for has either left me or betrayed me. 

I thought that life here would be different. That I could change and that I could finally be happy but no matter what path I take I always end up back in this hole of sorrow.

It's so unfair! Why can't I just be happy! 

Opening my eyes my vision was blurred by tears as I lay on the cold ground.

A shiver trailed across my body as I pulled the blanket tighter around my form. It's so cold in here. a warm fire would be nice but I don't think I can bring myself to get up, and the light would bother me too much right now.

It would be nice to have elazar here. He would keep me warm without a fire and being able to lay in his arms to stay warm while I slept would be amazing…but I'm not sure if I can face him right now nor do I think he would be willing to do such a thing not after what I did.

What I did…I don't even fully comprehend what I've done. Last night I could hardly understand what me and Elazar were even talking about. He blamed me for that man's death when all I wanted to do was help, and mutilate his body? I didn't do such a thing, I would never do something like that on purpose. I just- 

Fresh tears spilled from my eyes as I squeezed them shut and grabbed my head. The memory of that Thing, Crawling out of his mouth was still fresh in My mind. I still have no idea what that was or what had even happened!

But Elazar seemed so distressed and angry about all of it, I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. I could bring myself to talk to him when he was like that. I'm not even sure he would have listened if I had spoken up. He was sure that I had done something unforgivable but I don't even know what that would've been.

I don't know how Any of it is my fault! I'm so confused about all of this!

Silence filled the cave as the outdoors sound I could hear was my harsh breathing and the bounding in my head.

After a few moments I huff, and wipe the tears from my eyes. Crying wasn't going to help anyone, and I know I can't just ignore him forever.

Maybe I am the problem. Bad things always seem to happen as a result of my actions so why am I blaming him for my faults? 

Had I not tried to be a hero we wouldn't have gotten into a fight, that man might even still be alive and none of this would have happened. 

Sitting upright I sulked and hugged my knees to my chest before seeing the stuff elazar left next to the firepit for me. Food wrapped in leaves and what looked like new blankets were neatly laid out on a cloth square just a few feet from me.

I can't help but feel guilty for ignoring him but…

Looking at my arm, dried blood stained my skin and the bite mark was covered in gnarly scabs. I winced seeing the injury after not taking care of it the entire night.

Glancing to the entrance I wondered how long it had been since he left, maybe he's sitting outside right now? He seemed really panicked yesterday, what did he mean his people were after me? First things first though, before I talk to El I should wash off. 

Throwing the old blanket off I climbed to my feet and stepped over the water basin off near the back of the cave. Splashing some water on my face I cleaned any dirt from my skin then moved to try and clean off my arm. Rubbing the dried blood off my skin with my other hand I cringed as I swiped over the bite mark and the water slowly became tinted pink.