Phoenix Rising

075

Zi-ning folded all her clothes and packed them in a bundle, then she took them out again, rearranged everything, then shoved them back in. Rinse and repeat at least four times, each one filled with more frustration than the one before.

You did the right thing. Remember what happened the last time you trusted someone? He used you and betrayed you. You had to watch everyone you love die in front of your eyes.

Zhenghuan was not Ru-an, but her trust had been so far shattered in her previous life that she was afraid to take the risk. Afraid of being hurt once again.

Yet she could not shake that look of disappointment in Zhenghuan's eyes when he had heard her say that she felt nothing for him, when he had backed away from her and then turned to leave. She had wanted to call out to him then, but she hadn't.

It's time to go back to Huangcheng. There are still so many things you need to do there.

The people who had ruined her life before were still alive and well. Ru-an. Meiyan. Lady Min. Although she had made steady progress, she had yet to deliver the punishments that each of them deserved. Now that Yongxing was safe and the threat on his life somehow averted, it was time for her to return and press on with her mission.

Zhenghuan shouldn't have to bear that burden with her. He already had enough on his plate as it was.

A soft knock came at the door.

Zi-ning looked up and saw Bai Shengwu standing there, wearing a gentle smile on his face.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Of course. Is something the matter, Shengwu-ge?"

"That is what I came here to ask you, actually," the young official replied, walking over to her side. He glanced at the half-packed bundle lying on her bed. "Are you really planning to return to the capital?"

She nodded. "I only came here to pay Yongxing a visit. Now that I know that he's alright, it's about time I head back. Are you almost finished with your work here? Can I tag along with your party if you're also returning to Huangcheng?"

"I'm not sure someone will be very pleased about that," Shengwu replied, arching a brow. "Zi-ning, about this morning..."

"I'm sorry that you had to witness all that."

"No, don't be. Zi-ning, you know that I treat you the same way as I do Zhenzhu, like my own little sister. I'm just concerned for your future happiness, that's all." He hesitated for a moment, then he said, "I've heard that the crown prince has asked the king to make you crown princess. Is that why you are unwilling to accept the Shadow Lord?"

Zi-ning frowned. In the early days of her rebirth, she had intentionally tried to catch the attention of the queen and the princes so that she could leverage on that in her plan to bring Ru-an down, and she had intervened to save the crown prince's life so that he would remain an obstacle in Ru-an's way, but she never had any real intention of marrying into the royal family once again.

"I do not wish to become the crown princess," she replied.

Shengwu looked relieved by that answer. A smile stretched across his face. "That's good to hear. Life in the palace is complicated. If possible, I would not want you or Zhenzhu to be dragged into that whirlpool." He patted her on the shoulder. "Why did you reject the Shadow Lord then? I know that there are many rumours about him, calling him fearsome and ruthless because of his prowess on the battlefield, but from what I've seen over the past few days, Du Zhenghuan seems to truly care about you. He would not make a bad choice for you."

"I know," she replied quietly. "I am the one who is not worthy of him."

"Zi-ning, I'm not sure why you are being so harsh on yourself, but I think you should give yourself a chance—and maybe give the Shadow Lord a chance."