Christmas with the Leclerc's

24

~Family~
December 24

I stare right ahead, my mind running at 200 miles per hour. It's been running non stop for the whole night actually.

After my accidental "I love you", everything turned awkward between me and Charles. He never said anything back, just acted like he didn't hear me...

Thankfully it was late so we headed to bed not long after, but it might've been even more horrible to go to bed with an awkward tension.

It's Christmas morning, and I'm anticipating the moment Julius wakes up so I can get my mind on something else.

"Carolina?" Charles asks behind me, in his annoyingly hot morning voice. I act like I'm asleep, remaining silent.

"You know I won that bet yesterday, so I get to chose when we wake up" Charles continues, and I can hear the smile on his lips through his voice.

Gently he rolls me over so we're face to face, chest to chest. The sweet smile I love is wiped over his lips, as he sees I'm awake.

Gently kissing my forehead, lips, cheek... basically my whole face, Charles keeps acting like nothing has happened.

"Carolina about last night.." Charles begins and I immediately realize it's actually less painful to just stay clueless.

"It was a mistake Charles, just forget it" I quickly say, trying to shut him up, before he has to break my heart even further.

Charles studies my face for a moment, probably seeing the sadness I'm struggling to hide. "No wait.. please listen to what I have to say" Charles tells me, the lump in my throat returning as I look at him.

I can already hear his words, hear how he rejects me, tells me he can't love me back... The worst part about it is I can do nothing about it.

If he isn't in love with me then that's how it is. I can't change that.

Charles clenches his jaw, clearly taking in courage before he continues to speak. "I'm sorry for the way I acted last night. I think I just got scared... We see love very differently Carolina. It excites you, and it's something you want, even anticipate" Charles says.

I swallow hard, trying to wash down all the emotions overwhelming me. I'm just waiting for the rejection at this point.

"It's the opposite for me. It scares me, it's my biggest fucking fear. And I know love can do horrible things, I've learnt that the hard way..." Charles explains.

First an apology and explanation, and then the rejection...

"But after I've met you..." Charles pauses for a second. "I've learnt that love doesn't have to be something bad" He gets out in a breath.

"And when I look at you, run my hand through those beautiful curls, kiss your soft lips or touch you... I realize that," Charles says, his voice slightly breaking as he comes to the last part.

He takes a deep breath, a cold shiver running down my spine as I wait for him to speak. I swear my heart is beating at an unbelievably fast pace.

"I realize that I'm in love with you Carolina" Charles manages to get out, his hands stroking against my cheek.

My eyes widen. What? I have to hold in a sob as I look at him. That was not what I was expecting at all.