''Call me when you'll arrive in Spain!'' I told my mother, who was leaving today. ''I will, thank you.'' She gave me a last kiss on the cheek and walked into the airport, ready to see her sister again.
She would be gone for a good 2 months, maybe even longer. I didn't mind though, I loved having the house for myself.
Last night, after Mohamed had taken me home, I wasn't able to sleep. Probably because I had seen Zaccaria. I never thought it would have had such an impact on me, seeing him with another girl, but it did.
I kept telling myself over and over again that I couldn't blame him that he had moved on, because I thought I had moved on myself too.
I was okay with the whole situation though. I could've known that if I would leave Italy he would have moved on sooner or later and I was just going to need to deal with it. Painful or not.
I arrived home again and went straight to my room. I honestly had no idea what to do this summer. Most of my friends went on vacation, enjoying their time before going to college.
I was scrolling through my pinterest, when I got a text from Mohamed. He had asked if I was interested in coming over, and sended me the address.
I got into my car and drove to the address he had given me. He lived in a tall building right next to the local nightshop, which I remembered since we used to come there very often.
I got out of my car and looked at all the kids, playing football but now looking curiously at me, a face they probably didn't know from the neighborhood.
I got to his door, and before I could knock the door got opened by him. ''Come in.'' He greeted me.
I walked into the living room and sat down. He was alone, but I think he was having a great time since there was loud music coming from the tv and the table was full with beer bottles.
''Want one?'' He asked, pointing to the bottles in front of us. ''No thankyou.''
He lit up a cigarette and handed the pack of Marlboro to me. ''Were you able to sleep after what happened yesterday?'' He said, breaking the silence between us.
'''Not really.'' I sighed, as I continued smoking my cigarette. ''He called me when i was on my way home, but I was too tired to answer.''
''Big mistake though.'' He continued. ''This morning around 7AM he stood in front of me, punched me in the face and scolded me for a good half an hour.''
I was confused. ''Because you didn't answer his call?''
''Because i left with you.''
As we were talking further, a loud knock on the door interrupted our conversation. ''That must be him.'' Mohamed said, as he got up and walked to the door.
''Him? What do you mean?'' I asked, slightly panicking. ''Relax, it's no big deal sooner or later you will have to face him anyway.''
He opened the door and walked back to the living room, with Zaccaria following behind him.
''Naila'' Zaccaria muttered, as he looked at me. ''Hey...'' I smiled, trying to act normal.
He sat down across from me, while Mohamed went to the kitchen, getting some new bottles.
Neither one of us said anything, we just kind of looked at eachother.
We both had to say so much, but we both didn't know the right words to say it.
''How have you been?'' He asked me, breaking the silence between us.
''Good, what about you?'' I replied, as I slightly smiled at him.
''How do you think?'' He said, trying to avoid my gaze.
''I don't know, I-''
''Of course you don't, you weren't even here.'' He mumbled hard enough for me to hear.
Was he blaming me?
''Are you blaming me for having to leave?'' I said, not being able to believe what I had just heard.
''No, I am blaming you for cutting off all our contact after you left. No call, no message, just a shitty call at 4am on a random tuesday.''
I felt guilty, because he was right after all. Mohamed had returned but as soon as he heard Zaccaria he walked back to the kitchen.
''You never called. We didn't even know if you were alive, Naila. Everyone was confused, no one expected you to randomly leave for Spain in the middle of the night.'' He continued, and not even Mohamed dared to say a word.
''You randomly showed up after 4 years of me suffering, not being able to love anyone again, and then you finally come back and you don't even try to look for me?'' He yelled, with disbelief.
''I did come looking for you, but you were to busy fucking some slut so i left.'' I yelled back at him, as he backed away.
''I was fifteen, I didn't know what to do and I had no choice. Maybe I should have called, but I didn't, because it would be too hard for me hearing your voice.'' I said, trying my hardest not to burst out in tears.
''Did you ever try to place yourself in my shoes? I had to leave my friends, lover, school, the place i grew up, i had to leave it all behind.'' I continued, as Mohamed had come back into the room, sitting next to Zaccaria who was staring at the floor.
''But in the end it doesn't matter anyway, we have both moved on.'' I said, calming down as I took my bag off the chair.
''Thanks for letting me come over Mohamed, i'll text you.'' He nodded and they both watched me leave.
I won't let him blame me for this.
_____
Heyy Everyone,
I am sorry it took so long to update. I'll try to update atleast 2 times a month from now on, and if possible more!
Thankyou for reading, xoxo
