Ram ki Lakshman

Chapter 11 - Site? Where are you?

Lakshmana walked through the forest aimlessly. He didn't know what to do, or where to go. He just walked, hoping to find find Rama somewhere. Or did he?

For he knew that his brother would be enraged at him, perhaps even hate him. But Lakshmana couldn't go back. He just couldn't. Was that his selfishness or selflessness?

"Lakshman!?" he heard a voice which he knew too well, and he wouldn't dare look up to meet those eyes. "What are you-- why are you here?" Lakshmana didn't reply, he couldn't. He felt as if everything has been ripped out of him. "Gosh, I trusted you!"

Trusted you? Lakshmana broke. He felt like a body with no soul. A useless piece of trash. He felt a sharp pain in his heart, as if his heart was too heavy for his body to carry. He had broken his brother's trust. HIS BROTHER'S TRUST! But he didn't cry. He just followed his brother like he used to as Rama ran to their cottage. 

***

"Bhiksham Dehi." a deep, gruff, voice yelled out, "Bhiksham Dehi." Sita wiped her tears and collected herself. A brahmana was here, she needed to give alms. "Devi, kripaya bhiksha de do."

She smiled at the brahmana, then went inside the hut to get food. She then placed it right on the edge of the Lakshmana rekha so that he'll be able to get it. The man stared at the food on the ground, offended.

"Devi?! How could you place food near the feet? Please, come and give it to me." The brahmana, when Sita was inside the cottage, had tried to come in, and failed, so he knew that Sita had to co me outside.

Sita sighed, regretting sending Lakshmana away. "Please, forgive me, brahmana deva, but I cannot come out and give it to you. Please, accept it." 

The brahmana swished his hand, waving away whatever Sita was saying. "I will curse upon your husband if you don't come out!" Sita

Sita gasped, "No, please, forgive me, I'll give it to you." she took the food from the ground, placing it to her head, then slowly stepped out of the rekha. 

***

"SITE!" Rama yelled, running as fast as he could with Lakshmana close behind him.

"B-bh-bhabi!" he called out. "Bhaiya!" Lakshmana rushed over to his brother, catching him before he fell. The cottage was ruined- pots on the ground, with a few spots of blood. Rama collapsed the moment he saw it. "We'll find her, b-bhaiya, we'll find bhabi." His brother didn't say anything, he just sat on the ground, eyes not leaving the sight in front of him. "Come on, we'll f-find her." He started to lend his hand out, but Rama stopped him, getting up on his own. If it was even possible at this point, Lakshmana's heart broke a little more.

Lakshmana grabbed his brother's bow and cautiously gave it to his brother, standing a few feet away from him.

"What happened?" he asked sternly, wiping his tears, eyes still fixed on the cottage. Lakshmana didn't respond. "WHAT HAPPENED?" Lakshmana flinched, he looked at the ground. He was scared. He was scared of what is brother would say, what his brother would feel, he was scared of his brother for the first time in his life.

"I-uh-I-- she told me to- go, and--I, she told me that-- she was worried for you." Lakshmana sighed, "I-I'm sorry.." Rama didn't say anything. 

"We'll find her." he muttered to himself, shaking his head, then walked into the forest.

***

"Site? Where are you? Di-did you see Sita? Did you?" 

Rama had gone mad. He was asking the entire forest where Sita was. The trees, the birds, everything. Lakshmana got more and more worried for his brother, and he felt guiltier every second, feeling as if he's the reason for his brother's condition.

"Bhaiya, co-"

"Ram." a dying voice chanted, "Ra-Ram."

***