Something about you

Chapter 3

I hope It All work out - Mark Amber 

ARIA

September 2022, Seattle

Around four in the morning, I wake up sweating and out of breath. I look out the window and watch the night still embracing the Seattle sky. My heart is beating so fast it could almost escape my chest if it wanted to. I can feel the anxiety coursing through my veins as if it were my own blood. As my psychologist taught me, I do my first breathing exercise - the one where I breathe by folding my arms in on myself - to ground myself more firmly in reality. It doesn't work every time. Sometimes, when anxiety and stress are too great, I need stronger sensations like cold showers, or on the contrary, very hot ones. But I avoid going that far because last time, the temperature shock between the water and my body was such that I fell ill and was bedridden for a week - a week during which I slept better than in the last three years.

When my breathing finally calmed down, I grabbed the black notebook I'd been carrying everywhere for the past year. This notebook probably knows me better than I know myself. When my brain can't handle the flow of emotions, I put my thoughts down on paper, and it helps me understand.

I then write down the nightmare that poisoned my sleep, put my notebook back where it belongs, in the drawer of my bedside table, and try to go back to sleep by thinking of three things that make me happy. It works every time.

When my eyes open again, Lauren's face opposite mine surprises me.

"Oh my god, Lauren ! You're scared me, what are you doing here ?" I screamed to her.

She smiles at me like a horror movie villain, but with white teeth, makeup and nice clothes. Its sweet perfume fills my nostrils. It should be forbidden to smell so good.

"You're a panda", she says with a serious face.

"A panda? Why am I a panda?" I replied, confused. After all, it's 8 o'clock in the morning.

"Because pandas eat a lot and sleep all the time. You're just like them. You're a panda, my friend," she declares, giving me a pat on the arm.

Without understanding, I burst out laughing.

"I'm going to take breakfast outside, so I have prepared your toast with avocados and bacon in the kitchen. Love you!", she told me after leaving my room, screaming her last sentence from the living room.

"Wait, Lauren ! Where are you going ?", but she doesn't respond to me because she's already outside, running to her car.

As if that wasn't enough, my phone started ringing.

"For the love of God, leave me alone !" I yelled to my phone.

"Hello, I'm Alicia Sorrens", starting a voice. Who ? "I'm a Simon & Schuster publisher and I want to discuss with you about your manuscript."

The air leaves my lungs, my heart stops and my eyes open wide in surprise. My manuscript? Has it been accepted? All my body is literally shaking. What the hell, just apprehend ? My manuscript was accepted by Simon & Schuster publishing ? Oh, my fucking god ! I will die of joy today.

"I'm just in Seattle for the day, would you be free for lunch? The pushing house offers the thing for you, of course," the lady says to me.

I'm surprised that my lips don't react, no words come out of my mouth.

"Mrs Taylor ? Are you still on the line ?"

"I'm sorry, I'm here. This is great news! I'm just very surprised, I had little hope of my manuscript being accepted, specially by Simon & Schuster and here you are calling me to tell me you're interested in it, that's just exceptional for me !"