Something about you

Chapter 8

Lessons - Dermot Kennedy

ARIA

October 2022, Seattle 

In literature class, my thoughts drift to Lewis. Of course, I still haven't heard from him. It's not so much because of who he is that I care, but rather because he was my first kiss and somewhere along the line, I always hoped my first kiss would be with my first love, or my first boyfriend.

At this point, I'm afraid that if I run into him at college, he won't even look at me. I'm glad I haven't seen him this week, it's saved me a lot of embarrassment.

Liar, my conscience tells me.

And in a way, I'm lying to myself. Every day, I sit on this bench, hoping he'll meet me there, but I'm always alone for lunch. I've never believed in love, and yet I thought for a moment that maybe I could change my mind. And then, the memory of my father suffering alone because of my mother brought me back to my senses. Love sucks. Or maybe not, who knows? In any case, the universe has done nothing but prove it to me.

The professor's voice reminds me where I am.

"Literature isn't just words on paper. Literature represents the whole world. It is interpreted differently by every writer, every reader, every one of us." He pauses, takes a few steps, then resumes. "Literature is inspired by everything around it. Places, deaths, people. How do you think writers create their stories? How do they put their thoughts into words? With what will do you think Jane Austen wrote the novel that made her famous?"

He looks at each of us and continues: "How would you go about writing a novel, a poem, an essay? What would you draw inspiration from?"

No one seems to have an answer, or else none dares to respond. Yet my arm rises.

"Yes, miss."

"I think the best source of inspiration we can have is ourselves. Our thoughts, emotions and experiences are bottomless pits full of wonderful things to explore, define and put down on paper. I think that's how Jane Austen became famous, because she turned her dreams into words".

The professor observes me intently.

"Your classmate raises a more than fair idea. Who has another opinion or idea for us today?"

I smile, proud to have given my opinion, as a hand goes up to the front rows.

"I think everything we are inspires us. I think my comrade is right, but I find it can sometimes cause unpleasantness in society," he says.

"Carry on."

"In fact, I think if more of us wrote what we really think about politics, economics, etc., a lot of writing wouldn't get published because it would offend society. Jane Austen only wrote about a wasted and sad love, and was published under a man's name. Why should we hide what we really are so that we can be read at the expense of ourselves?"

"You think like that, quite simply because you're a man. How do you think society viewed women with ideas in Austen's time? Besides, IF you knew better, Jane Austen was never published under a man's name simply because she wanted to change things. But we're not here to talk politics or economics," I replied, almost shocked by his words, before turning to address him directly. "We study writings that criticize society, its mores and its social categories through novels, fictions or fantasies invented by great writers who see life and our societies as they really are. And how did they achieve this? By defying frameworks and rules, writing metaphors and striving to get published. That's what we're studying. For the record, Jane Austen didn't write about love. Her novels are about much more than love. They're about redemption, forgiveness, courtesy, social codes and death. I believe in ..."