fourteen

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max

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max

can we talk?

there isn't anything to talk about max

that. that right there is why we need to talk

what?

just max. never in my life have you called me just max until now.

so what

i can handle you hating me and calling me names because that's who you are but i can't handle you acting like nothing happened. like we didn't happen because i know you told me it was an accident but it happened maya. and now you're calling me max and not replying and not even telling me how much you hate me and i can't fucking sleep because of it.

you have a girlfriend. you love her child like you love racing. what happened was a mistake. i'm not gonna act like it happened, i can't just act like i hate you when we both know i don't

she erases the last part and sends it. she turns off her phone and focuses on her flight. despite her, affair? conundrum? maya doesn't know but she's still going to baku to see charles. she's spent all of her life hating max verstappen, nothings different now. she still hates him. totally, completely and utterly hates him.

she flys in on saturday, choosing to take less risks of running into someone. she watches his practice, stays 50 feet away from the red bull paddock at all times and all goes well.until the race.

charles is doing good p3 and it looks like by the end of the race he could end up with p2.

what isn't good is that as she's watching, she sees a red bull car fly into the barriers. she can't tell if everyone really went quiet or if she just can't hear anything because her heart has stopped. she only hears his name when the commentators start screaming about the crash.

that's all she can hear. because now she's stuck in a trance. it's different watching someone you love versus someone your in love with. just because she hasn't come to terms with it doesn't mean she hasn't realized. and the last thing she told him was that he was a mistake to her. she lied and that could be the last thing he ever hears from her.

she doesn't realize she's panicking until silvia is guiding her into a seat, head between her legs. she has no reason to panic. she's hated max all her life she shouldn't be freaking out because of this.

but she can't breathe. every sense of hers is gone for the rest of the race. she disassociates through 20 laps, only coming back when charles is right in front of her. he doesn't tell her what position he got, not that she would've understood him, all he does is ease her up into leaning on him and they make their way to red bull hospitality.

charles ignores silvia, though he knows he needs to thank her, ignores the media, the gasps as the ferrari driver and his best friend are making their way to red bull.

when they make it to the room the medics have him in, she sees christian first. he meets her eyes and softens, seemingly understanding the feelings she has even if she herself doesn't .

they stop to talk to charles but she doesn't comprehend any of it. only does she calm down when she's in front of max, and he's...

he's.

he's alive.

he's awake.

every single sense comes back to her at once and charles steps out of the room to give them some privacy.

"you're.." she swallows from the side of his bed.

"you're okay?" she doesn't mean to sound as shaky as she does, doesn't mean to let him know that she couldn't breathe until knowing he was okay, but he knows.

"i'm okay maya"

and she can vaguely feel the tears all falling down her face but all she cares about is that

he's okay

max motions for her to sit on the side of the bed and she complies. he grabs her hand softly but doesn't make any other moves

"it's okay i'm right here i'm fine"

"you aren't a mistake to me. that wasn't- i mean it was an accident but it's not -you aren't a mistake. and god i don't hate you max. i can't hate you anymore because hate does not feel like this. i thought i was going to die the moment i saw your crash and that's not - it's not" she scrambles all of her words out at once

he pulls her into his arms.

"you will never be a mistake to me maya. i thought i was gone. and all i could think about was you'll never know how i really feel about you"

and maybe it's wrong, maybe she shouldn't do it but nothing can stop her from pulling back from his chest and bringing her lips to his. it's not magical, it's not hot, it's just comfortable.

it's just like home.

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