if my tears are fake, erase my name.

ask his mom

There he goes on,

Telling me he feels wrong,

Forced me into loving him,

Forcing me to hold on,

Says he feels guilty,

Just not enough to leave me,

Just not enough to say,

With meaning, that "oh, I'm so sorry."

The apologies flood out,

It's like he wants to cure a drought,

He makes me a damsel,

I don't let him worry about distressed.

He asks his mom if he's a good guy,

Asks me if we'd be here if I didn't lie,

Tells his friends I'm the cold type,

And says I'm all bark and just can't bite.

But I agree with him sometimes,

When he says that I can't read eyes,

I can't make it better so I hold his hand,

He yells at me saying I don't understand.

At least I could respect boundaries,

Never pushed him to tell me,

But maybe he wanted that,

I knew I didn't, so there was always a spat.

I'm still figuring out,

How we fell for each other,

Cause I can tell he was wrong for me,

And right for him I'll never be,

How can you have so much chemistry,

If you're not even meant to be?

If I have so many boundaries,

Why can I still feel him around me?

If we were right for each other,

It would've been good,

Moved to your dream place in the hills,

You and me and our kid,

But I can't disregard my dreams,

No kids, just me in the big city,

Writing books about our trysts,

This one's going to be a part of it.

We want all these different things,

You prefer mountains, I want the penthouse,

You want children to play with,

I'm not having them, so get a grip,

I need to travel the world,

Make people cry with my words,

You say "you already did that to me,

Just stay with me, we'll be happy,"

But we can't without all these things,

We've been longing for

Our whole lives.

I know we're not a match,

But it's nice to have support at your back,

I know we have to end it soon,

Don't deny it, you know it, too.

We're so different,

I have no judgement,

You read people like a statement,

I'm an actress and you hate it.

I thought we'd be okay at last,

But time is going by too fast,

We could have had another year,

But that would only bring more tears,

So you ask your mom if you're nice,

I'll ask my cat if I'm going to be fine.

At least I'm writing words again,

I'm wiser than I was back then,

But I can't deny I was happier too,

The most was the time,

Before I saw you,

Cause then I didn't have to cry over not having you.

Oh, look at me,

Cried over not having you back then,

Had you then lost you,

And now look at me,

Going at it once again.

"I wish we were right, but we're not."