Wait ed. (Carla-Billy's Story)

The Boat is Sinking

Then he looked at me, touching my face, but her eyes couldn't meet mine. "I almost told him I want to be his Zee, Mama. I didn't realize Tito Papa already has one"

——-

I didn't realize I was breathing heavily, until I felt Aya's hand holding mine.

Zee, probably feeling a bit sad for reasons she couldn't understand, hid her head on my neck and hugged me tightly.

Budoy is trying to get her from me, but she just shook her head and turned her head to the other side.

"Ok lang, Tsong", I said, with a weak smile on my lips.

I knew he wanted to say more, but he's also controlling his emotions, not wanting to scare Zee.

"Carla", Aya tried to get my attention, her eyes meeting mine.

"Nawalang parang bula yung "what if" ko, Sis. At least, finally, I can accept this reality and move on"

I can feel my tears were threatening to fall.
Hindi mo naman sinabi self, may closure ka pa lang hinihintay.
Congratulations, you finally got yours!

Aya has tears on her cheeks.
Parang hindi ko na rin napigilan yung sa akin.

"Toto Nongnong, yung asawa nyo, naiyak"

Then she smiled, wiped my tears and said, "Second night namin as husband and wife, pero sa QC ako matutulog"

"Baliw!"

"Ikaw..."

——-
We were preparing to check-out, Zee was sitting silently on the bed while I was packing all our things. Kuya Pat said they dropped the rest of our luggages in QC. He and Kitana will fly to Cebu to visit Kitana's family. Then he'll be back in a week's time so we can talk about my plans.

"Zee, don't forget to bring your bag", I said, as I hand her that penguin backpack she always keeps with her.

She took it from me, and played with its beak.
"Mama...."

"Yes, Baby?"

"Do you think Tito Papa will still come?"

"Ha?"

"He said he will send us home. Do you think he would still come? Or will he be busy playing with his kid"

I looked at her, and I was kind of lost for words.
I don't want her to hope.... and at the same time, I don't want to break her heart.

"Don't you want Tito Tsong to send us home? Tata Nangnang will also do a sleepover"

"Ok, Mama. I'm sorry if Zee was a bit sad just now"

"It's ok, Bear. Mama loves you"

"And Zee loves you, Mama, forever and ever"

"And I you, Baby, always and forever and ever and ever"

——

Aya said she and Kiko will just drop their things then they will follow us in QC. Chopchop and Budoy would be in convoy.

They were loading our things in Budoy's SUV, Aya and I just came out of the villa after checking whether we left anything behind, when I found my daughter standing at the doorsteps, her head turned to the entrance.

I should have been more careful.
In just a day, Billy is about to break my daughter's heart.

"Zee, we're about to leave. Come here, Baby. What do you want Mama to cook when we reach home"

"I'm not hungry, Mama", she said softly, her voice is sad. Then she looked at me and smiled, "But I'm excited to see our new house"

My daughter is about to turn four, almost the same age as that time Billy made me believe that I'd break his heart if ever he sees me cry.