Wait ed. (Carla-Billy's Story)

Unlearning Love

And I hope it all works out and you find everything you need
I guess I had to lose you on the way to finding me

———

I woke up at the wee hour, and went downstairs to prepare Zee's milk.
She'll wake up in a couple of hours.
I tip toed coming down the stairs because I was not sure who slept at the living room, if ever there is one.

Using the flashlight in my phone, I looked at the sofa and found a guy lying there.
I didn't need to walk near him to know who that guy is.

I went straight to the kitchen and prepared the baby formula. Baka magising si Billy Boi, mahirap na.
We didn't have the chance to talk after that song last night.
I wonder what's running inside his head, or if he has ever heard of that song before.

The first time I heard of it, I thought someone is playing a prank on me.
Until I realize, our whole life has been quite a prank from the start actually.
Pasasakitan ka ng matagal, tapos magiging kayo for less than a month, then- Gising! Reality comes knocking down the door.

Until now, I'm still thinking whether it's all worth it- that time we decided to chase after our dreams.
Why can't people accept the fact sometimes love is all that you want...
Anyway, kung kami talaga kami...
Kaso, hindi.

Hindi talaga e.
Ilang beses ko naman nilaban...
Kaso wala talaga.

Siguro, kung may quiz after all of this, and tatanungin ako kung bakit ko sinukuan- baka manakit na lang ako.

I was already on the way up when I noticed that he wasn't even using the blanket that was on the other couch.

I sighed and walked to where he was. I placed his daughter's feeding bottle on the coffee table, took the blanket and placed it on him.
I haven't really looked at him- like really looked at him, in the last eight days that we've been here.

He didn't change a bit.
His features matured, yes.
I don't know how, but it seems that he's mature beyond his age.
His eyes would tell sadness he's hiding... battles he's lost.

I didn't know I was already sitting on the floor and staring at him for a couple of seconds.
I am no longer mad.
I still love him... I do.
But life happens.
Sana sa next life, tayo naman.

"I hope you're happy... much happier than when we're together"

"Don't wish for something that's too impossible, Patricia"

I blinked my eyes and was surprised to see him staring back at me.

"How could I have happy if I don't have you?"

"Billy..."

"Pumanik ka na, Carla"

"Why?"

They said the night sky and the bright moon in the wee hours of the morning remove all our inhibition.
The emotional us usually comes out, and honest words are spoken.
Hidden feelings are exposed...

"Why did you leave me, Billy?"

He stared at me a second longer, then he whispered, "I never left you, Carla. Even when you thought you're all alone.... You never were"

I smiled a bittersweet smile.
Konti na lang, naniwala na naman ako.

"Matutulog na ako"

"Mahal kita... "

"Ng sobra... hanggang sa dulo... sabi mo e"

"Carla..."

"Kaya nga tayo andito, di ba? Kasi hanggang sa dulo. Those two years were the longest and most difficult waiting that I ever did, Billy. Mind you, I waited for you for years... and years, and never have I ever felt such kind of pain. Naghintay ako ng plot twist- umasa ako na baka naman may natatago ka pang magic trick na pwedeng maging tayo ulit. Kaso wala..."