Anaxiphilia | Taekook Fanfic

Heart Found it's way back

Jungkook stood in the row for the checkout with the suitcases that were at the either sides of him and Hazel standing at one end, grasping his index finger. Her hold was tight, public places always had her holding even more tightly to her father than she ever had. But this time her force didn't conclude that she was afraid of losing Jungkook in the hundred others of the crowd, it was the anger.

After fighting with the demons that screamed in his head, blaming him for why he lost Taehyung and now he was going to leave him behind for his own good, he had gone to Hazel and had seen her crying in the bed.

One look at Jungkook and she had been the one to say, " We are leaving Dada because of you. " Just those seven words and Jungkook had felt the entire world crashing down at him at the force that he couldn't perceive.

Every cloud, every bit of the seven skies, every other infinite worlds present in the universe, it just came and came, fragmenting into pieces right on the top of his shoulders. He had heard the saying that it was all in the stars, the way they aligned, the way they formed constellations, the way they roamed, it was all written in that, but at that particular one second where his daughter stood there with tears filled eyes, it felt that all of that combined and fell down at him.


It was heavy. Too heavy. Life has never ever felt this heavy for him before.

Since that time, she remained quiet, so did Jungkook. They didn't talk, although around Jungkook she never stopped talking. Not even once. She loved rambling about random things, random things that mostly centered around Taehyung and Korea.

Knowing it was the place where her Papa was born and Dada was also there, she was always fond of that place. Seoul, Korea.
But for the first time, she was silent, although the force from which she held Jungkook’s index finger, it spoke volumes.

It spoke up the words, screamed the sentences, blew out the wrath over Jungkook’s head in a way that couldn't be compared to her words or her tone. Her silence and the quiet rage bleeding out on Jungkook’s index finger was way more stronger than her loudness could ever be.

When their checkout was done, Jungkook closed his exhuasted eyes for a second, immediately wiping off the water that gathered behind the lids, making his way out of there. Hazel was following him, his hands holding the luggage with his eyes being at the floor.

Looking upwards seemed to him as if facing the world, and despite not having done anything and not having the relation with the people around him at that moment, he didn't have the courage to look up and see them. He couldn't see anyone, cause every face would end up mocking him, screaming out the words like,

You seeing us, trying to find him?

Walking the steps that meant the promise of leaving Taehyung behind and not looking back from his shoulder just to even have a glimpse of how he was doing felt like taking steps towards death.

Last time walking down his same lane after making love to his step brother, it hadn't felt this way. Not like he was actually walking towards death.

It didn't feel like walking towards death.
Those tickets didn't feel like his ticket towards the realm of cemetery that would be named after him.
Where every grave would hold the different parts of himself and where he would be spending his entire life attending the funerals of himself.

New day, new funeral, new grave, new entry in the cemetery named Jeon Jungkook.
That day had been tough on the flesh, where his whole body screamed for nothing but Taehyung. There were the prints of his hands, his back had markings of Taehyung, his lips felt to have life from their intense kisses and flesh seemed to breathe out Taehyung’s name like a prayer.

With each slide of his shirt against his flesh, there were reminders of Taehyung’s touch, his hands exploring his body and his lips opening wide and wide for him, as he kept making love to him like they were having to compete with how the sun makes love to the moon by giving it his light when it starts to dim.

This time, his soul cried and wailed. For Taehyung.
It wasn't just the body, but his soul.

Just when he was about to take the turn, an arm stopped him from going forward. Abruptly looking up, his eyes were met by some man who was almost in his mid thirties. Wearing the suit, he stood at one side with his phone attached to his ear and a clipboard with the list of attendees written in there.