Lights, Cameras, & Harry Styles

35: Truth, Niall, & Harry Styles

—Amber—

"Amber, I had sex with Emma."

All it took was that one sentence and it suddenly felt like my whole world was crashing down on me; like everything I thought I had done right had ended up being wrong all along. I’ve never felt like such a fool.

"What?" I manage to say, my voice weak. I didn't want to believe him. I just couldn't believe he had done such a thing. I love Harry more than I thought possible. I let myself take the risk of falling for him and all it did was come back and slap me in the face. Once again I've been hurt by Harry Edward Styles.

"I'm sorry." Harry whispers. "It meant nothing. I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing."

I swallow back the tears that were threatening to spill over. "I don't know what to say."

Harry sighs, his voice cracking as he speaks. "Please understand. It was a mistake. I can’t bear the thought of you hating me."

"I don't hate you." I assure him, avoiding his eyes. "That's the problem. I'm supposed to hate you, but I can't."

"What does that mean?" Harry's voice is merely a whisper.

"I don't know." I finally look up him, a tear escaping the corner of my eye. "I need some time to think."

"To think?" Harry's hurt expression mirrors my own as I make my way past him. I didn't know how to react or what to say to him. It was all too much. Stepping into the bedroom, I close the door behind me. I needed some time away from him. I needed to think this all over. Any normal girl would have gotten angry; they would have yelled, mean words would have been screamed, and doors would have slammed. I'm not like other girls. As much as I should, I didn't hate Harry. I couldn't. But I can’t continue to let him hurt me. I took the chance. I let myself fall for him. In fact, I fell so hard that I would probably sound like one of those girls in those romantic novels if I'm asked to describe my feelings towards Harry. I was willing to lose my virginity to him; something that has never crossed my mind with anyone else.

I walk over to the closet, prying it open and reaching down to find an empty suitcase. I pull it out, wiping a tear from my cheek.

I can't let myself get hurt again. I'm already hurt; I was hurt so bad that I could break down into tears any second. It's tough holding in my emotions. I wanted to let them out; I wanted to cry on someone's shoulder. It can't be Harry; he's the reason for my tears. My father is lying in a hospital bed in Cheshire and my mother is there with him. There were only two people I could go to right now: Carly or Austin. I cross Austin off my list. I didn't want to deal with anymore guys. I was in need of my best friend.

I unhook shirts and toss them into the suitcase, moving to the drawers and doing the same thing with my shorts and jeans. I'm not supposed to leave this apartment until the movie is done, but this was one rule I needed to break. I can't be around Harry; at least not today.

By the time I finish packing I take the suitcase and exit the room, keeping my face impassive.

"Amber?!" Harry's still standing in the hall, his eyes now flickering between me and the suitcase. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to stay at Carly's." I inform him calmly. "I just need some time away from this."

"Away from me." Harry confirms, a look of sadness appearing on his face. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He says softly. "I love you."

I stand up straighter. "I'm sure you do, Harry. Now, excuse me. I need to call a cab."

"What about the movie?" Harry questions.