Chapter 13

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Its still unbelievable.

I can't believe that I have been resorted to do something so ridiculous as this.

After that disastrous morning, I called in leave at work and rushed to the hospital to have myself checked.

Her words kept echoing in my mind.

Impotent? Me? She got treated, so the problem is in me?

I don't want to prove her wrong but my pride certainly will.

It took two days to get the results and during that time i didnt go home. Or was it really home?

When i decided to come here, i had every intention to make this place my home but it never felt like it-- even Amber tried to make me feel at home by her small efforts but it never worked. I was always homesick but I tried not to think about it. All my dreams and hopes of a loving and successful marriage went down the drain and now I just don't have any reason left to stay here.

I stayed in a hotel till my test results came and I was worried as hell. What if she was right? What if the problem really is in me? Then what would I do?  As Amber had stated so firmly,  she only got married so she could get pregnant and my importance was no more then a sperm donor. So if I really am impotent,  that means its the end of this marriage?

But for some reason, that thought didnt feel wrong. Maybe it probably will be for the best if we parted ways after i get the news.

No! What am i thinking. Im not a quiter. Oh God, Divorce is the act most disliked by Allah, how could i possibly think about it but with the way things are, its seems an option.

Oh God, i missed Gran so much. Today was the day for me to collect my report but i was too scared to. O stayed in my car and started at the hospital building for i dont know how long. I picked up my phone and opened Gran's whatsapp. Hopefully shes not sleeping because its late there.

"Hello?" Came her weak and tired voice from the other side. My heart felt a jerk on the sound of her voice.

"Gran?" I croaked and couldn't hold it in any longer. The unshered tears that i was holding for so long began to pour out. Thankfully i was alone so no one could witness my week moment.

"Sonny?" Her voice raised and i heard her move about. "I knew you would call. For some reason i had a feeling that you're hurting." She Stated. Oh Gran, you certainly know whats going on in my heart. After all, Allah has given a mother the power to sense anything that goes on with their children.

I missed Gran. And even though I wanted so badly to tell her what was going on with but I wouldn't because I'm not going to worry her. "How have you been Gran? I really felt like listening to your voice." I almost choked on my tears.

"I'm fine Sonny but how are you? You don't sound too well."

"No, no I'm okay." I chuckled dryly. "There's nothing wrong with me. I was just missing you that's all."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"Listen Zackary," she said my full name—if she said my full name then that means she's serious. "I know you never tell me what's bothering you but son, I always know that there's something bothering you. I know the reason you don't tell me anything is because you feel that it would worry me, but son, I am always worried for you because you are my child. I cant help but worry for you. And ever since you got married, I knew instinctively that you would encounter troubles because in the beginning this is what happenes. I wont say that I didn't have my fair share of problems because I did. You probably think that me and your grandfather had an ideal relationship; that is only because we both worked hard in the initial years of our marriage to be where you saw us. We loved each other not because we wanted to but because we learned to—we learned each other's importance and God made us love one another which further strengthened our bond. Zackary, the key to a successful relationship is compromise and trust." She stated.

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