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5 years ago today, black coffee and cows, crouching low in parked cars in parks while lips pressed tight with no sense of time, wholly immersed in the sensation of each other like every moment was the last we had, time running out when tension was high, terrible terrible goodbyes and reasons not to try followed by miscommunication, separation and wry tongues dancing fast to point fingers that still fucking linger on the mention of coffee and yellow robot harbingers , fast forward 3 months later, all said and done flash forward to now and nothing has changed, things didn't get better, and I still imagine the smell of you in my sweater. Misery cohabits all time, and we lose something important we totally unwind and unhinge and depend on more than our own strength to pick it up again. The course of energy does not change, it goes where it's going, on the same path, all things accounted for as part of the map, none of this is new, just knowledge that has been lost or misconstrued. We will all meet or clash again in the end as energy of like or different polarity, but I will still miss you.

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