When Will You See Me?

Chapter 1: Choices

Disclaimer: So I' currently hype with some sweet moments between QingYu so I hope I can write something down because of this since they are basically the inspiration of this story. So if you want to imagine the faces of the characters just look up this two; Wang Qing and FengJianyu. Hope you feel in love with them as much as I do. Off we go.

- Start of the story -

I always hear that choices are always given to humans the moment they are born in this world. Choices like to do this or not to do this. We exercise these choices through choosing from the simplest things like what will I eat to what I will wear today to difficult decisions like marrying and work. I always believe that I am a free man who can always practice this privilege given to man by some higher being. I never knew that a time will come which I have to choose between my heart and my conscience.

But alas! That day did come and I was cornered. Cornered with limited time. What should I do?

February 14, 2017

Goodbye, Jana. That was the only thing that rotates in my head as I am watching this scene take place in front of me. The girl that I like these past years will be wrapped in the arms of another guy. It is painful. Very painful but this is the choice that I made.

Jana and I were childhood friends and basically we grew up together. We spend a lot of time with the company of each other. My feelings for her eventually evolve from friendship to love interest. At first I tried fighting it but it's a futile attempt. Jana's bright and cheerful personality always wins heart so how can I shield mine who was always basking on her brightness. Unfortunately for me I always felt that Jana's feeling for me has always been a friend and at most a brother. I never gained courage to tell her what I truly felt until finally she met Harley last year. Their story is like hurricane. One minute they were strangers then friends then eventually lovers in just few months. Then suddenly they have decided to finally tie the knot a few months ago. I asked Jana if she's sure with her decision and she just her shook her head and smiled at me. "Yu, when you really fall in love and be together with that person you will feel that the time you spent together each day is so short and you will wish that time will extend. I want to spend all my time with Harley. I know his the one for me Yu. His is my missing half and marrying him is the best decision I have done in this lifetime and even if you ask me ten years from now I know my answer will still be the same."

I wanted to fight this feeling of mine but how can you fight when even before it started I already know the outcome and I know it's not me who will win.

I let my love be taken from me in front of me and it's like an accident that I am powerless to stop. One morning she was still mine even if as a friend or brother the next thing I know she was in the arms of another and I can't do anything about it.

Today is Jana's and Harley's wedding. Of course as a closest friend I was made the best man. When they asked me that favor I really wanted to shout at her a groom a big no and just go but I know that it was not Harley's fault. I never did tell Jana my true feelings. I was the coward one and I have to face the consequence of that choice.

So here I am now. In an aisle, standing in front of many of our colleagues, friends and families witnessing the marriage of my love and her love in front of God. I am standing with the groom witnessing a surreal view with the bride slowly marching in the aisle slowly walking towards us.

It should be me. But I know it's already too late and I have no choice but to let go of the person which I have been keeping inside my heart this past years.

She had planned this event non-stop and to be honest I think she had been planning her dream wedding even since we were children and what was just missing in her plans was the groom itself. The wedding preparation only lasted two months. They are hands-on in every step. I could clearly see that they really wanted to take this new step of their lives. The wedding they planned was not grand, they wanted an intimate wedding. When asked why, they always answers that why invite people that doesn't know them intimately. The important thing is that by the end of the day they can officially be husband and wife.