Aftertaste (AlyDen)

Beautiful Nightmares

Alyssa

It was Dennise.

She was standing a few feet away from me, in her white and blue volleyball jersey no. 13. Her hair in a braid. The usual volleyball get up before game. She was smiling at me with arms wide open.

I quickly run into her arms but I tripped going there. She was about to help me stand when her Mom held her in place. Tito Mike placed a hand on her shoulder. Justin and Mosh came carrying a white lab coat and a stethoscope.

I couldn't stand up. I stood there as she looked at me, begging me to do something but I couldn't. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. Her eyes starting to glisten from unshed tears. I couldn't do anything. I watched as they forced her to drop the volleyball on her arms and made her wear the lab coat. They hung the stethoscope on her neck. She mouthed 'I'm sorry' and turned her back from me.

No, that's wrong. Den will never turn her back on me. This isn't real. Please. This isn't real. Dennise belongs next to me.

"Den!" I called out but she wouldn't look at me. She kept walking away.

"Dennise!" I tried getting up but I was somehow glued onto the floor and I couldn't chase her.

I watched as LA approached her. He takes her in his arms and she hugs him back. They both look at each other and the next scene broke me more than anything else. They started kissing and it was just too painful to look at.

It felt like the world I was about to offer her, shattered along with the pieces of my heart. And it felt like they were now in a world of their own. A world without me. A world without Alyssa in Dennise's life.

"Den, no. Please. Make it stop. Please"

I whispered as I saw her walking down the aisle in a wedding dress, looking as beautiful as ever towards LA in a tuxedo.

I wanted it to stop. I want to hit my head so bad to make it stop. Because it's killing me. It's killing me that this dream is not that far from reality.

Tears fell from my eyes as it shifts to another scenario. Den coming out from the hospital doors, tired from her shift in the hospital but there's a smile of contentment painted on her lips. A car parked in front her and a bouncing baby girl wearing a yellow sundress got out from the car and flung her towards Den's waiting arms. LA got out of the car and kissed them both on the head.

I tore my gaze from them. I can't take it. I can't take her happiness when it's not with me. Because it was supposed to be me. I was supposed to make her happy. But, I know I couldn't give that to her.

"Den, I love you"

Maybe Den is all I see in my future... But, what if that's not the future she wants?

I felt a slap land on my cheek, waking me from that nightmare. Concerned blue eyes were the first I saw.

"I- I'm sorry. I was trying to wake you pero you won't and you kept calling my name and—"

I didn't bother saying anything and just pulled her into a tight hug. It's not real. She's here. With me. Not with LA.  With me. It's not real.

But, it could be.

"L-Ly, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Cause I can't have you.

And God knows I can't lose you.

I shook my head. She was about to pull away but I held her closer.