Illicit (phan)

III - Past

(tw; homophobic slurs. also unedited, sorry!! hope you enjoy anyway :) )

Ironically, it was exactly a year since Phil had broken Benny's nose. Benny had learnt his lesson and ignored both Dan and Phil all year, until now, when he'd forgotten it again.

Faggot.

As the word echoed through Phil's mind, his fists became tighter and his body stiffer. His stomach turned, he didn't want to have to do this, but he knew he had to.

"Are you okay?" Dan asked tentatively from beside him in the lunch line.

Phil turned to look at him and was once again reminded of what happened. Dan was wearing a pale pink sweatshirt and stark white jeans that clung to his legs. Phil knew it was this outfit that had made Benny say what he had this morning. His hair was neatly combed and sprayed into place. His lips had a glossy sheen in the cafeteria light.

Dan had drastically changed in the last year. He'd taken a liking for fashion and pastel colours. He'd become friendly with a few girls in their year. Everything about him was now clean and neat and he tidied his room without his mother having to beg him. His interests has greatly swayed, while Phil's had stayed exactly the same as they'd been his entire life - protect Dan.

Phil looked away, ashamed at himself when his eyes lingered on Dan for too long. "I'm fine," he lied through his teeth.

Dan easily saw through it. "What did Benny do this time?"

"Nothing," Phil answered firmly, and they stayed silent until they had both taken their lunches and sat at their usual table.

Dan ate a few chips off his plate, before leaning towards Phil. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Leave it alone, Dan."

"No. You need to stop doing this. Tell me what's wrong."

Phil wanted to yell at Dan, to scream at him, to tell him to wear something else, anything else, but he stayed silent. He couldn't do that to Dan. In his mind's eye he could clearly imagine the hurt expression that would break out on Dan's face. He could never do that to him.

"It's Benny, isn't it?" Dan tried once again, and Phil wanted nothing more than to glue his perfect little lips together so that Dan would shut the fuck up.

"Yes," he decided to simply answer, filling his mouth with food so that Dan wouldn't blame him for not saying anything else.

"Is this about PE?"

Pass the ball, faggot.

Benny had called the words loudly across the gym, allowing the whole year to hear. If the coach wasn't there, Phil was sure he'd have knocked Benny out right there and then. So, he'd held it in and now it was lunch. He was sure he'd manage to corner Benny somehow during the long hour, he just had to figure out how to get rid of Dan.

Phil shook his head firmly in response to Dan's question.

"Oh, okay." Dan didn't seem to see through the lie this time and absentmindedly shoved a few more chips in his mouth. "Is it about Kelly Lewis?"

Phil hadn't seen that coming and his head jerked up from his food in surprise. "What?"

Kelly Lewis was a girl in the year below, who'd filled out quite early, making most of the boys in the school pay attention to her. Most of their class seemed to have a thing for her, probably because she was so easy.