Illicit (phan)

IV - Past

When Phil woke up in the basement, and saw the belt in the corner of the gloomy room, he didn't even have to look down at his body to know what happened. He'd been in this exact situation far too many times. Sadly, though, this time was noticeably worse than the others.

Breathing heavily, he carefully held onto a random knob on the wall, trying to pull himself up. It was much harder than he thought and Phil felt like he'd suddenly aged a hundred years.

It took every ounce of his energy for him to make it into his bedroom, avoiding any mirrors along the way, not wanting to feel worse than he already did. He'd discovered that his mum was in her bed and his father wasn't home. The clock in the kitchen said it was nearing two in the morning.

Collapsing on the bed, he closed his eyes, trying to erase the past day from his memory. He was interrupted by the clicking noise of a pebble hitting his window.

Dan.

Honestly, the last thing Phil wanted was to see him. If Dan had just kept his big mouth shut then Phil wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. But he also didn't want Dan to feel guilty for his own dad being a massive dick. He took a second to breathe, before making his way to the window and yanking it open. The action made his arms tingle with pain, so he clenched his jaw.

"Phil, oh my God, you look horrible," Dan's voice echoed into his room.

There was a list of smart retorts that Phil had prepared in his mind, but the effort to open his mouth and speak was too much. Dan extended his arm across his window sill. They'd placed a bit of wood across the ledge when they were younger so that they could easily get to each other's houses in times of need.

Phil knew he'd promised himself that he wouldn't go to Dan's, but he could smell dinner wafting from his house. Not to mention, Phil knew from past sleepovers how comfy Dan's bed was, how warmth seemed to radiate through his room. It was always comfy and cozy. Plus, Dan's arms around his body wouldn't hurt too bad.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he was across the ledge and inside Dan's room. He felt the difference in temperature instantly. Dan was so lucky his family bothered to pay for heating.

He didn't get a chance to protest before Dan had softly pushed him onto the bed. He laid back until Dan reappeared, holding a few plasters and some cotton pads.

It took him less than a minute to clean up Phil's cuts, probably because this wasn't a rare occurrence. It almost saddened Phil how fast Dan's skilled fingers moved.

"Are you hungry?"

Phil nodded, and Dan scurried away, reappearing almost instantly with two trays loaded with food. Phil didn't hesitate to scarf down every bite on his tray, no matter how much it hurt his jaw. When he finished, Dan pushed his own food towards him, and Phil scarfed that down as well. Dan quietly took the trays and set them on his desk.

"There are more cuts on your back, right?"

Phil nodded in response.

"Ok, take off your shirt and lie on your stomach," Dan's voice was shaky, and God, Phil wished that Dan could act better.

He pulled off his shirt, hissing when it made contact with open cuts. He gently turned over, leaving his back exposed to the air.