Yours [Prim/Cato]

Chapter 5 - The Capitol #2

After that dream, I don't sleep very well. Every time I closed my eyes, I would see Cato bringing me the orange juice with nothing but his underwear on. I had tried grasping onto how or why I would have a dream like that, one so... explicit, but the only reason I could come up with was that it was Cato, just him. Every time I saw him in my head, I would get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and have to open my eyes. I wasn't sure if I was scared or if I liked it, and that was terrifying me beyond belief.

You have to focus. There is no time to be thinking about things like that.

Telling myself this doesn't work. All night long, I think about Cato and what might happen if I were to come in contact with him. What would he think about me? Would he even notice me? He is attractive, more than any other boy I've seen before... shoot, I don't think I'd be his type. I'm too plain compared to him. And it wouldn't matter whether or not he is interested in me because I don't have the confidence to handle a guy like that. I think I'd probably panic if he even glanced in my direction.

I lose myself to him again, thinking in circles about Cato and what it will be like to see him for the first time, so much so that there's no way that I can go back to sleep. This madness is consuming me when it shouldn't. I have so much more to worry about. He's beautiful, but he's also scary, and because of this, I know I should stay away.

After what seems like forever, it's finally morning time. I get up, take a quick shower, brush my teeth, and look through the drawers to find something to wear. Most of the clothes that I've been given are extremely flashy, so it takes a while for me to find something that's plain enough for my taste. It seems weird wearing clothes that aren't mine, especially ones that are so far outside of what I have been accustomed to wearing. Of course, my clothes back at home are not as high in quality as these, but putting these Capitol clothes on makes me miss home and my family a lot more.

I wonder what's going on at home right now, what Katniss and Mother are doing to get through the days. Who took over my portion of the housework and chores..? I would like to think Katniss, but Mother handles housework better than she can. Is Mother okay? Did she run off again? I'd like to hope not. I can just imagine them since I left.. Katniss telling my mother that she was going out, my mother not listening to a word that she said, curled up in a ball on the couch, staring at nothing while waiting for the next Hunger Games related broadcast, trying to capture every single moment of mine as a keepsake of my final days. It's a somber realization that District 12 is probably a ghost town right now in silent preparation for my assumed death. I remember what it was like in the week leading up to the Games when other kids were reaped. All of District 12 went quiet, starting to grieve almost immediately since we knew that whoever got on that train was not coming back home. Are they doing that for me..? I have to make it home.

I quickly let go of my thoughts and walk to the dining room, hoping that some food and my fate will pull me away from bouncing between thinking of home and thinking of Cato. At the dining table, I find Effie and Peeta eating breakfast. There's no sign of Haymitch, but I'm glad that he's not here. Compared to Cato, he is probably the second scariest person I know, but given his reputation and his attitude, my fear should be warranted. He should probably do something to handle that his drinking and his anger because I can only assume that he gets out of control often, but then I think about what he went through, and what his life has been like since he became a Victor, and I can only imagine his suffering. Many of the Victor's have become substance addicts...

If I win, will that be me? There's just so much to think about.

As I sit down and am starting to gather food on my plate, Effie starts to ramble on about the things we have to do that day.