Chapter 37

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Please read the author's note!!

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I gripped my pen between my fingers, wringing my hands around it. The clock on the wall ticked each second away, slowly. So, so slowly. It felt like I'd been in this class for hours, but it'd really only been 20 minutes.

I stared at the board, willing my mind to focus. I needed to concentrate on the lecture, or anything other than my own paranoia. I hated being in the same building as him. I hated knowing how close he was. I hated admitting that he affected me so much.

Why did my skin still crawl at the thought of him? Why did my heart jump every time I heard footsteps behind me?

I didn't have any answers. The only thing that I was sure of, was that I couldn't let anyone find out about this. They'd try to analyze me; try to find out what was wrong with me. I couldn't stand the thought of that. I didn't want to accept that, just as I was beginning to feel like I belonged here, something else could come forward and tell me otherwise.

My parents had been through enough already. So had Sebastian. I refused to give them another reason to worry. Or another reason to want to give up on me. I couldn't lose them.

I bit down hard on my lip, feeling more and more anxious as the clock ticked, but desperately wanting the minutes to tick by. I squeezed the pencil in my palm, twisting my hands around it.

I wanted the day to end, so that I could get out of this building, but the thought of seeing him in the hallway again had me squirming in my seat. A few minutes alone with me was all he had. I hated that one short moment had me falling apart. Just as I was figuring out where all of my pieces went.

I thought about what Jamie said: telling Sebastian. I promised I'd think about it, but I knew I couldn't. If he knew that the boy who had tried to hurt me was in this school, he'd completely lose it. I didn't fully understand the reason, but the last thing that I wanted was for Sebastian to confront the guy.

No one could know. Is have to keep this to myself, make sure Jamie stayed quiet. I'd need to-

A loud snap cause me to flinch and I blinked down at my hands in shock. The splintered wood of my pencil fell out of my palm as I slowly opened my fist. It was broken, snapped completely in half. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I covered the mess with my notebook and glanced around for any witnesses.

I stilled when my eyes met curious brown ones. Molly innocently blinked back at me from her seat next to mine. I turned from her and tried to ignore her stare for the next few minutes. Molly was good, pure. She'd witnessed a few of my abnormal reactions, but she never questioned it. I hoped she'd keep it that way.

My eyes wandered away and I froze when I spotted movement beneath the classroom door. Shadowed feet moved past before slowly moving back. They stood directly in front of the door, not moving. I felt myself unconsciously moving in, struggling to see what the shoes looked like. Was it him?

Someone slammed a book shut and I jumped. My pulse quickened for a moment and I glanced to the desk next to mine. Molly was watching me, curiosity lighting her caramel-brown eyes.

Luckily, the teacher left little room for talking at the end of class, and the lecture was cut off by the bell signalling the end of class. I picked up my backpack and notebook, which contained little to no notes on today's class and left the room.

I scanned the hallway, nerves eating away at me. I told myself to calm down. There were hundreds of kids in this school. I wasn't likely to see him at all. Anyone could have been standing outside of the classroom. Or maybe it had been no one. I weaved through the other students, nearly pushing my way through the crowd.

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