Beautifully Damaged

16. Bear

I woke up to a shrill alarm clock beeping. My head throbbed at the noise and my eyes smarted at the light streaming through my window. Rolling over, I slapped the snooze button on my alarm and felt the overwhelming need to go back to sleep.

My mouth tasted of sleep and the remnants of bitterness- a horrible combination if you asked me. Even Bear seemed unwilling to get up, drained from the panic of not having me around yesterday night.

Stubbornly, I slapped a pillow over my head and resolved to skip school. It was only Tuesday. Tuesdays sucked.

Five minutes of cotton headed thoughts and almost-sleep later, my alarm clock shrieked again. I quelled the urge to throw the stupid thing out of a window, just to get it to shut up, but it was right- I couldn’t afford to miss any school.

If nothing else, I wanted to apologize to Jenna and Eli for ruining their night, and just see them again, in general. It took a long time, but eventually I got up. In the end, it had only taken about fifteen mental arguments.

I tripped over my phone, and looked at it dumbly for a few seconds before I bent down and picked it up. When I turned it on, I noticed how many calls I had, but when I saw who had called and left messages, I just threw it back on the bed.

Truthfully, I was embarrassed that the whole thing had ever happened, and in public no less. The longer I could avoid both Drake and Alex, the better. It was probably stupid and immature, but I just felt like it was better for me. Even if I hadn’t done what I did, I still wouldn’t be talking to Alex until he decided to tell me what he knew.

This was my life, and it was my right to know what was going on in it. At some point, there’s a line, and he’d crossed it by barring me from my own past. I was still convinced that he knew something, even if it wasn’t much.

Until then, Jenna and Eli were my closest friends, and pretty great ones at that. They had my back, and I didn’t get the feeling that they had anything to do with whatever had happened in my life.

I smelled like the inside of that house I’d been in last night, so I went to get a shower, leaving Bear blinking sleepily and yawning on my bed.

Once I got out, I felt so warm and comfortable, that I was almost ready to go back to sleep, but I soldiered on and made myself drink some orange juice and eat some cheerios while Bear munched on some dog food. I honestly don’t know how that could taste good to anyone, even though most dogs seemed pretty satisfied with it.

Realizing that I’d gotten side tracked, I got to my feet and went to get changed. The sky was clear and blue, a rare occasion for the beginning of spring, so I found a pair of shorts and a t-shirt with a jacket, just in case.

The thought of being late really wasn’t attractive, even if I just wanted to sit down and left my mind rest for a little while. So I hauled myself out of the apartment and headed down to the car park.

My phone rang, reminding me that I’d slipped it into my pocket before leaving. I had just stepped outside the building into the crisp day air when I answered it, forgetting my promise not to.

“Good morning, violet,” Morgan’s voice purred through the speaker.

“Violet?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“Your eyes, chica, they’re pretty,” She answered, “Where are you, anyway?”

“Oh, I’m just outside my apartment, gonna be heading to school soon, you there already?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you there, later girly.”

I ended the call and connected my headphones to the iPhone, flicking through until I found a song I wanted to listen to. The sounds of music, though they made my head throb a little more, soothed my thoughts and lulled me into a stupor of calm.