Beautifully Damaged

30. Reawakening

"So I'm dead?" I asked, finally.

My knees still pressed into the ground awkwardly, and I wasn't sure if I had the gall to stand up again. The last thing I had done on earth was kiss Drake. I didn't want to think of it as a mistake, not in the least, but it was hard to spare myself the regret of my own fall. What about the people that I had left behind? My choice would affect them too.

Jenna had been so good to me, and I swore to myself that no matter what, I wouldn't forget her. I hated to think that maybe I'd only caused her pain. Eli, well, I hadn't known him half as much as I did Jenna, but I would have liked to.

Bear had thrown himself in front of a car for me, just so that I could die for my own emotions.

 Alex would blame himself for this.

It wasn't fair.

It is not in my power to bring back someone so full of life.

Wait, what? I snapped my head up, looking skyward for answers.

"So I'm alive," I amended slowly.

Cautious hope simmered in my chest. I was afraid to believe in what was too good to be true, but I couldn't help but let the rush of relief run through my veins, lighting my body with unbelievable weightlessness. There was still a chance.

I cannot take life; those who die are ready to go. They come to me.

Rising to my feet, my answer was instantaneous, "I'm not ready to die."

Just as much as it is not my choice whether you live or die, the decision is neither yours.

My jaw hung open as my mind raced. Then whose choice was it?

***

Metal clanged against stone, just before Drake let his hands rest over Blaise's heart. He looked up to see a beacon of light emanating from a boy standing outside in the rain. A deep-seated hatred drove Drake to his feet. He towered over the prone body of the girl he was destined to kill.

Alex froze on the steps before he burst into a sprint straight for Blaise.

A short burst of regret filled Drake's heart as he stepped around her to face his adversary, the only person standing between him and the end of this game. Drake steeled himself for the fight that he would undoubtedly win against the angel that had fallen far from his pedestal.

***

Drake blocked Alex's line to Blaise's body, lying among the puddles scattered on the asphalt. Hesitation only plagued Alex for a moment. As he neared, he noticed with a rush of relief that her chest still rose and fell, however slightly it may have been.

            Alex just didn't know how much longer it would continue to do so.

            He came to a stop a safe distance away from the one person that would not let him help Blaise.

"I can help her," he said evenly, though his voice was dangerously close to betraying the plea.

The darkness had honestly receded from Drake's eyes; he was acting of his own volition. Alex wasn't sure whether that would help or hinder the situation. Currently, the odds were stacked sorely in the demon's favor. It was a sure shot failure for Alex to even try to get around Drake without his total cooperation.

Not for the first time, Alex cursed Azrael and his judgment.

Resolution set in Drake's eyes, a barrier that would not be broken down.