Suffocated

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  After agreeing to go out on a  blind date with someone Evelyn's twin brother has set me up; I decide to take an early night even though I have a 11a.m. flight tomorrow.

I just need rest.

A lot of it.

Mostly to forget the things I am remembering.

I make myself a cup of green tea and turn on the heater as it is getting colder day by day.

I slip into my favorite onesie and just seat on my bed with earphones on.

Earlier back in New Zealand; I just used to read books.

Forget about the past; Mist.

I literally scream to myself.

FORGET. IT.

IT IS GONE.

A small part of me suddenly says he  is gone too; and tears suddenly rush to my eyes.

I WILL NOT CRY. I don't deserve it.

I quickly push two aspirin pills in my mouth and chug down some water.

I feel myself falling asleep; the rhythmic purring of the heater like a lullaby.

          *      *     *
I can subconsciously feel myself dreaming; but yet I am not aware it is a dream.

I am at the beach. Back in New Zealand.

Someone is there  along with me.

I feel strangely free from the pressure of my parents; a thing I never felt in New Zealand.

It is a stormy beach.

But someone is there with me who makes me happy.

He is walking beside me; his short blonde hair  ruffling with the strong breeze.

His amber-chocolate brown eyes make me melt from the inside.

And even more strangely; I am laughing out loud. Along with him.

The love of my life.

Suddenly; a huge mist falls on the beach. I panic. I can't see him anymore.

I shout his name; till my voice is hoarse.

Suddenly the mist clears; but in his place is that woman.

Her back turned to me.

But she doesn't need to do that anymore. I know who she is.

A scream rises in my throat.

"Where is he gone?" I choke.

But that woman doesn't answer.

She approaches me. I try to run; but my feet can't move.

I scream.

She gets closer; within inches of me and I see her nails.

Long and sharp; like talons.

I scream his name louder.

But that woman speaks to me in a cold voice sending shivers through my spine.

"You sinned. You murdered. You will be punished."

But I don't care about myself.

"Where  is he?" I say.

The woman; with her back still turned scratches my face.

It stings. I scream loudly.

She continues to scratch my face and I can't move.

I scream louder. My wounds emit blood.

My face feels numb.

"You sinned" she is continuously repeating in a ragged voice while scratching me.

I can't take it any longer.

"You sinned; too. You MURDERED innocent people!" I scream at her face.

The woman gives out a long high pitched scream on hearing me; like a howl.

And I wake up.

          *     *     *

I wake up suddenly. It is pitch dark outside.

My clock reads 3:00 a.m. 

I remember my dream.

But my face; it is stinging rawly.

I finally get up and look at myself in the mirror.

My face is covered in blood. And misshappen ugly red scratches.

I scream; and a dog howls in the night.

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