It's Always Been You

Chapter 28

Ariana paced back and forth in the living room. She gripped her shirt and scolded herself. There was no need to panic. Just tell him how you feel and accept what comes next.

Her sister left almost ten minutes ago. She squeezed her tightly and told her everything would be okay.

But would it? Ariana just wanted to rip her hair out.

The doorbell rang and she froze in place. She made her way to the door and opened it slowly.

Ben stood before her, in one hand holding a potted orchid, and the other a small wrinkled paper bag.

His adam's apple bobbed up and down. "Hey."

"Hey, come in." She moved aside and allowed him to enter. She shut the door softly.

He took tentative steps forward and entered the living room. "I brought this for you," he held out the orchid.

She took the small pot into her hands. "Thank you."

"You said they were your favorite," he rubbed the back of his neck.

She smiled. "They are, thank you." She set the orchid in the middle of the table. "It's beautiful."

He stuck the paper bag out toward her. "I brought this too as a sorry for disappearing on you."

She eyed him curiously before grabbing the bag. She unrolled the creased top. "Duvalin, Starburst, Mazapan," she cooed, "and some Bubu Lubu. Yummy." She dumped the candy onto the coffee table and grinned. "It's like I just went to a birthday party."

He laughed that time.

When she turned back to look at him, he grew quiet.

"Do you want to sit down?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I'm nervous."

"I'm nervous too."

He pushed his glasses up.

"Can I hold your hand?" She asked.

His eyes widened, but he nodded his head.

She stepped toward him, taking his hand in hers. "Did you really mean what you said?"

He let out a breath. "I did," he strained. "I do," he amended. "I do mean it."

She leaned forward, smiling. "Really?" She squeaked.

He nodded. He was finding it difficult to look her in the eye.

"Benjamin, I like you. I like you a whole lot more than I realized." She shrugged. "Maybe that's why I always fought Cristina and Marco when they teased me about you."

"They did tease us a lot, didn't they? Jonathan always bugged me about it too." Ben looked down at their hands.

She shifted closer. "I'm happy when I'm with you, Benjamin. More than happy actually, content. I'm content." She squeezed his hand. "I think it's because we've known each other for so long. You're so familiar, but I still learn something about you and from you every day." She glanced up at him, "And, oh my god, I love your smile. I hate how much I love it."

"What?" He laughed, a grin coming to his face.

"Yes, that one, dammit. I see it and it gives me a warm feeling." She dropped his hand and hid her face with both hands. "When did this happen?"

"Ariana, I'm scared to admit my feelings. I feel like my heart is about to burst, but I'm just nervous. I'm scared to feel these things." He took her hand in his, bringing them away from her face. "I'll confess to you right now, that I haven't had the best experience in loving someone else. They didn't," he sighed and shook his head, "but, when I'm with you, I feel like I'm me again. This armor I've built, it's like I don't need it anymore, no, I don't want it anymore."

He gulped. "I can't even imagine what it might feel like to have someone suddenly say they love you, but I do. In a way, I think I always have, even when you were a snotty teenager who always beat me at Mario Kart and now an adult who can still beat me at Mario Kart."

She smiled. "Maybe I should've known when you were literally the only boy I could stand for more than five minutes, even though you stole my science project idea."

"I'm sorry about that. It was an accident though."

She rolled her eyes. "We somehow found a way back to each other, haven't we? High school. College. We even ended up working at the same place."

"Why did we make this so difficult?"

She let out a laugh. "I have no idea." She touched his forearm. "Can I hug you?"

He breathed in and out. "Yes."

She placed one hand gently on his neck and the other on his shoulder, bringing him closer, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

He brought his arms around her waist, relishing the feel of her in his arms, and felt a wave of relief roll off him. He felt her giggle against his chest, but instead of clamping up with anxiety, he felt an overwhelming sense of comfort and reprieve, as if he'd been running a constant marathon and finally had a chance to sit down. It felt good to be held in her arms. It felt good to hold her.

"This feels so right." Her heart beat against her chest. "I'm getting this strange sense, that it was always supposed to be like this."

"Me too."

She smiled into his shoulder. "It was always going to be you, wasn't it?"

He leaned back slightly and brought his hand up to cradle her cheek. His eyes flickered between hers and her lips.

Her eyes fluttered closed. "Yes," she whispered.

He wasted no time in cutting the distance between their lips. The softness of her lips made his mind hazy, but he had one fleeting thought - he finally understood what the poets wrote about.