After graduating from high school, Mathew sets out to do a two-year missionary service like everyone else his age.
Mathew thought that his only problem would be him adjusting to the city as someone who's lived in a farming town all his life. he didn...
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Since the argument I had with Nath, we haven't really spoken much to each other. We would text each other vague things from time to time, then whatever conversation started would be lost in about three or so back and forth sentences. I wondered if he was angry with me, or if he just thought I needed space the think. The worry made me a little dysfunctional. I kept zoning out of consciousness, and people would have to touch or yell at me to grab my attention in crowds or during meetings.
Sam and Olivia's worried gazes had returned. Olivia had even pulled me aside and asked me to talk to her, but I had just shaken my head and slipped past her before she could pull me back. I didn't have time for anyone or anything.
I was in my room writing an email to my mother when I heard my phone vibrate from a call coming in. I looked around, hoping that Sam was nowhere in sight, and when I confirmed that, I checked my phone to find that it was Nathaniel calling me like I had expected. A lump formed in my throat. It's been a few days since things became weird between us, and I wasn't sure if a phone call would change that. I answered the call anyway, staying silent on my end.
"Hello?" he finally asked after a while of me just breathing into the line.
"Hi." My response was low and unenthusiastic, but my heart was racing. I had missed his voice. So much.
"How have you been?" he asked me, and I bit my bottom lip. I could hear some of the background noise from his end. It sounded like he was in the kitchen because I could hear the sound of cutlery clicking, as well as the sound of something sizzling.
"I've been doing fine," I answered, running my tongue over my dry lips. "You?" I added, desperate for the conversation not to evaporate into thin air.
"I've been busy," he simply said, and I muttered a small 'oh.' Busy. Yes, I should have expected that. He did work back to back and across two towns.
"I went over to the next town the day before yesterday and spent some time at a friend's place." A friend. I repeated in my head as my lips drew into a thin line on my face. I shouldn't be getting jealous. I knew that. It's not like we were dating, and said friend could actually be just a friend, but my thoughts loved being illogical and making me worry for no reason. It's just that I've seen him flirt around, and it hurt.
You're not dating. A voice said in my head and my felt my face warm up. Yes, we weren't. I shouldn't feel this way at all. All we've done is kiss and talk, and at the end of the day, I might not even have the courage to come out.
"He helped me get out from my brooding state." Nathaniel laughed after that, but I wasn't amused. I just played with my fingers, looking down at them as I waited for the conversation to change. If he was seeing someone I didn't really want to hear about it but butting in to tell him not to talk about it would be rude.
"I'm really sorry for bringing up what I did that day." My eyes widened as his words reached me. I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't say anything. I stayed still on my chair, and both ends of the call were silent until Nath continued talking. "I don't know. Maybe I just assumed you would understand things from my perspective, but you're right. We're not the same person. We don't have the same exact experiences, and I don't understand what you're going through as much as I think I do." For some reason, I felt a bit distressed by his words. I wasn't sure why. Maybe it's because I felt like I should be apologizing too, but I didn't really have anything to say.
