After graduating from high school, Mathew sets out to do a two-year missionary service like everyone else his age.
Mathew thought that his only problem would be him adjusting to the city as someone who's lived in a farming town all his life. he didn...
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Nath was humming as we walk side by side on the path leading to the clearing by the artificial lake. We've been taking strolls like this together in the morning, and there was something special about being able to hold his hand and not worrying about if I had enough time left to stay with him. It was about six in the morning, and he had a few hours until work.
The stray dog was with us today, and it was walking by Nath's side, as usual. It would brush up Nath's pant leg with its body and tail, and occasionally running ahead of us and looking back.
When we got to the clearing we did what we usually did. We just stood and stared at the slow-moving water together. The songbirds around the surrounding trees were loud today, and so were the frogs that were camouflaged on the moss and stones at the edge of the water.
"Have you spoken to your parents?" Nath asked me. I looked up at him, before muttering a small 'no.' I watched him grimace before sighing. He's been worrying about that for a while, and even when I told him it would sort itself out eventually, he was still worried.
"I'll take to them," I said out loud, looking down at the small granite stones by the water. "Eventually," I added. I couldn't even convince myself that I would. It sounded like a badly worded lie to myself even. I wanted to talk to them. Sometimes I went over to read the last email that my mother sent me when I was feeling homesick.
Take care of yourself and reach out to me before anything else.
Her words had been clear, but I was still afraid to talk to her. Any problem she imagined I could have faced was as far away as possible from the possibility of me living with another man. Nath had told me he had been any religious mother's worst nightmare, and I was beginning to feel the same way.
"I'm just asking because I think you need closure," Nath said. "I mean, it's not like I expect them to be understanding. I just think it's better to get it over and done with," he said, and I nodded, feeling him squeeze my hand.
What will my parents say?
They're my parents.
But they're also part of the church.
Are they Christians before my parents, or my parents before Christians?
All the words I had scribbled in my journal just yesterday started to flood my mind. There were a lot of shitty thoughts that involved the possibility of officially being excluded from my family's life. I wouldn't be able to talk to my sisters or parents again. What happens then? Do I just not have a family after that?
"Mathew."
"Sorry," I sighed, running a hand through my dark hair with the fingers of my free hand. I always overthought this. I was worried, really worried.
