Coming Home

Chapter 12

February 2006

It had been awkward between Alex and I ever since the night of Matt's party 3 months earlier. Well, to be honest, I actually didn't know if it had been awkward between us since I hadn't talked to Alex at all. He hadn't tried to ring me and I definitely hadn't tried to ring him either. But today was special. Today was the day that he was moving away. He hadn't told me himself but my mum had run into his parents at the supermarket and they had told her. I couldn't believe that Alex was moving away without telling me, but I was still embarrassed from the night we'd spent together and I didn't think it was my place to contact him - he was the one with the news of moving away afterall. He ought to call me himself. He just hadn't...

I was eating oatmeal at the kitchen table while my dad was sitting opposite me, reading the newspaper.

"Why haven't you talked to Alex lately?" He asked me without looking up from his paper.

"I don't know," I shrugged, "he's been busy with the album coming out and everything, I guess"

Dad put down the paper and eyed me over the top of his glasses, "but you do know that he's moving to London today, right?"

I nodded, looking at my oatmeal.

"Don't you think you ought to be there for that?"

"Dad, come on! He hasn't even told me that he's moving away. I had to hear it from you and mum!! I think it's obvious he doesn't want me to be there," I said, irritated that my dad wanted to talk about Alex all the time.

"True..true.." my dad said with an unconvinced tone, "- either that or he hasn't told you because he's afraid of how you'll react," my dad eyed me carefully over the top of his newspaper.

"What would he be afraid of?" I sighed, "Why would he be afraid?"

My dad shrugged, "for the same reason people pick fights with each other to make it easier to say goodbye. He probably knows that you'll be broken when he leaves High Green. I think you should go over there. You might regret it if you don't"

"I don't think so," I huffed before I put my now empty bowl in the dishwasher and went upstairs to barricade myself in my room. I was getting sick of my dad's constant nagging! He seemed to be asking about Alex all the time! I tried to block out his remarks about me and Alex but often found that his words had etched their way in to my skull no matter if I wanted them to or not.

I spent the next 30 minutes listening to Nas alone in my room. I thought of Alex and the last time we had seen each other. Over the months I had come to remember everything that had happened that night and I had desperately tried to push the memories away.

Lying alone in my room, I also thought of how Alex was about to leave Sheffield and High Green behind and move on to bigger things. How he was about the leave me behind and move on to better things. The thought echoed through my mind and my eyes started stinging violently. I thought of my dad's words. How I should be there for Alex last day home.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath as I realised that I definitely would regret if I didn't get to say goodbye. After all, we'd been friends for so many years. I wouldn't let a drunken shag get between us.