Coming Home

Chapter 16

Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! I was falling for Alex. I had fallen for Alex. The Alex that I had had sex with six years ago and hadn't spoken to since. That Alex. Maybe I had had feelings for him even back then - a lot of pieces sure seemed to fall into place. It definitely explained why I had been so jealous of his music and the girls he wrote his songs about.

I was working at the bar that night and as I was getting dressed and put on some make up, all I could think of was Alex. I didn't want to think about him - not in that way at least. We had just started talking again and I couldn't throw it all away just because I had realised that he actually was a bit cute - even with his newfound greaser style.

That night, the bar was pretty busy and I was running around taking people's orders, mixing drinks, and pouring pints. I thought that my stressed out brain was pulling my leg as I saw Alex' face in the crowd. But as I turned to look again, I could tell that it really was him accompanied by Nick. My heart skipped a beat and everything suddenly seemed to go blurry.

"Hey Is!" He called out, "busy night?"

"What gave it away?" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm as I was tending the millionth customer in the last 10 minutes.

Alex gave out a soft chuckle, "Pour me two pints and I'll be out of your hair."

Quickly, I poured him two Guinness and put them down in front of him. He picked them up, "come join us when you have the time, yeah?" He said and I gave him a small nod before turning to the next customer in line.

The next two hours were as busy as ever but I stole small glances in Nick and Alex' direction every time I had just a second to spare. For most of the night, the two lads were on their own, looking like they were discussing big plans. Alex had his back towards me but I could tell he was rambling because Nick kept nodding in agreement at everything Alex seemed to say to him.

I was pouring my thousandth beer of the night and as I put down the glass with the tap still running, I once again stole a glance in Nick's and Alex' direction - this time, however, they weren't alone. Nick had his arm flung around the back of the chair next to him where a pretty girl was sitting. I also saw that Alex was imitating Nick's exact positure; his arm was also flung around the next chair occupied by a girl whose face I couldn't see.

"Hey, the beer is overflowing," the customer next to me said, ripping me back to reality.

"Right," I said and flicked the tap to turn off the endless stream of beer coming from it. I wiped down the two glasses and handed them to the customer who was giving me a half-hearted smile. I looked around and decided that Tim could handle the current amount of customers just fine. So I poured myself a pint of Guiness too and walked towards Alex and Nick.

I pulled up a chair and sat down next to Alex with a small; "Hi!"

"Hey, Is! Meet Amy!" He said and I did the polite thing: I extended my hand for her to shake even though I honestely didn't care who she was, "Hi Amy. Nice to meet you," I lied. She shot me a blinding smile and I could definitely see why Alex had taken an interest in her: she was gorgeous.

"I think I met you the other night," she said and I suddenly recognized her as the girl who had been asking me about Alex' relationship status. I gave her er curt nod. How had she managed to grow so much prettier in the past 24 hours?

"Bar treating you alright?" Alex asked me.

"Yeah, at least it's not so busy right now," I said and put the back of my hand on my forehead. I could feel that I was sweaty and immediately regretted not having checked myself in the mirror before coming over. I probably looked like shit.

"Yeah, at some point I was scared that you might not survive at all," Alex laughed and I joined in. We talked for a few minutes and even though it was petty of me, I was glad that Amy hadn't joined in on the conversation at all.

"I didn't get any work done today," I sighed as Alex asked me if I'd been hungover from last night, "so I'll have to do it tomorrow"

"You poor thing," he teased me.

"Maybe you could help me with your thoughts on some of the albums? It might be really useful to get an actual musician's take on a few things.."

"I'd love to help you out but tomorrow's actually not so good"

"Oh yeah? Why not?"

"Well, the weather's supposed to be brilliant so I'm taking Amy to Mortomley Park."

It felt as if my entire world and the illusions I had set up, shattered all around me. Alex was going out with this girl. The night would probably end with them kissing. And I would be on the sideline once more.