Dig It Up *A 'Holes' Fanfiction*

Sabotage

Chapter 26

   "Got the lizard?" Squid whispered, as I stood before them with a sunflower seed sack. I had rummaged around the trashcan behind Mr. Sir’s office, where I also found the lizard. It was around one in the morning and the guys were looking tired. We were all huddled outside, except Twitch. If he came he would probably ruin the whole thing by talking too loud. I could hear him snoring faintly.

"Of course. Now, who's got the rope?" Charlie held up a bunch of boot laces knotted together that we would use to suspend the yellow spotted lizard so that it wouldn't actually kill anyone… If it was alive, which it wasn’t. She was wearing gloves.

“Why are you wearing those?” I was disgusted at the green woolen mittens. “Wait…why did you even bring them?”

“Well I thought after I went swimming it would be a bit chilly…”She blushed. I sighed and turned to X-Ray.

“Ready to get revenge on those dick faces?” X-Ray’s tired face lit up.

“Ready as I’ll ever be!”

"Alright… B tent here we come." Magnet stated. It was pitch black and perfect!

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just try not to get caught… I don't want the aliens coming after me." Zigzag mumbled.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure they won’t.” Charlie said calmly. They had a moment when they just stared at each other’s eyes. Cringe.

“Erm, hello? Guys come back to earth!” I clicked my fingers in front of their faces. They blinked and turned away. Squid stifled a laugh. I rolled my eyes and followed behind Armpit and X-Ray through the tent flap. So, from our magically awesome (yes, magically awesome) D-Tent, we tiptoed our way through the shadows of Camp Green Lake. The dirt muffled our footsteps as we silently floated toward a similar tent to ours marked with a white ‘B’. B stands for…Bastards! I said in my mind in a tone that Mr. P would’ve put on. We all huddled around the back. Loud snores erupted from within.

“If I’m guessing right,” X-Ray said, “ThLump should be right about…” he shuffled to one side. Something inside the tent snorted. “Here.” He finished with a nod. Carefully, I pulled the lizard out by its tail from the bag and handed it to Charlie… who started to gag. She got over it quickly then unraveled the shoelaces from her hand. I tied the lizard by the wait and gave it to Magnet. He held it in his hands surprisingly unafraid and lifted up the bottom of the tent fabric. The snores grew louder. I could see a faint outline of a hand suspended off the ground. He placed very creepy dead lizard right next to the hand, so it brushed the skin. We backed away from the tent and started making hissing noises and Charlie jerked the rope up and down, trying ever so hard to not crack up laughing as ThLump flipped out.

"Holy shit! Fucking hell! It's a yellow spotted lizard! Help me! Help me!" He squealed in a very high-pitched voice.

“Wait what?” It was Buck. I heard more screams.

“Get it away! Get it fucking away!” Sam was freaking out.  There were more shouts and we heard a thud and a crash, as ThLump began to stumble outside with his tent.

"Shit!" I muttered as we maneuvered around the back, me carrying our dead lizard carcass. We huddled together again, sprawled over each other in a giant heap of giggles. We heard ThLump, Buck and Sam yelling at Mr. Sir, commanding him to come save him from the lizard. We snuck back to D-tent where I fell backwards on my cot, my breath coming in short as I laughed harder than I ever had. The rest of my friends seemed to be experiencing similar side effects, not to mention Armpit hadn’t made it to his bed and was rolling on the floor. Squid was practically crying through stumbling hiccups. Charlie was doing this thing that she does when she laughs, which is basically having your mouth open and making no noise though moving your head back and forth. It was like a laugh on mute. Zigzag had to hold onto Charlie to not pass out.  They looked kind of cute together…the eccentric ones.

"That… was… absolutely… amazing!" X-Ray squeezed the words in between laughing into his pillow.

"I… know." I responded, trying to stop laughing so I could catch my breath. About five minutes later, our tent stopped laughing. Armpit lay on the floor drumming his fingers… until we heard the commotion down at B tent.

"There's nothing here, you sacks of worthless crap! You woke me up now so that I could see that nothing was here?" Mr. Sir hollered. We heard a muffled answer from ThLump.

"Mr. Sir, I swear to God it was slitherin’ right next to ma hand!"

"No, I bet you were dreaming. Don't test me boy." Magnet was the first to start laughing, and then it progressed, until all of us, were laughing until we were crying into our pillows.

"But… … I swear, it was right here!" squeaked Sam. There was a blubbering noise from Buck. I have to see this! I crawled my way over Armpit and slid on the ground, peeping through the tiny crack the tent flaps made. I saw Buck clutching himself and shivering on the floor. Sam was blinking at the ground. ThLump was wearing boxers with hearts on them. Those practically made me piss myself.

“What are you laughing at?” Charlie asked crawling over to me, dragging Zigzag with her. She stumbled and almost flew headfirst through the tent covers. I pulled her back then she settled and peered through the crack. She burst out laughing and the guys shuffled over us trying to get a view.

"No, it wasn't! Do you want me to get the Warden? Waking me up in the middle of the night… I should be asleep right now! But, no, I have to be woken up by your pansy asses!" Mr. Sir then stormed past our tent, and then I saw it…  Pink ducky boxers and a purple tee shirt. I mean, Mr. Pendanski I can understand, but Mr. Tough-Ass? Never would've thought it! And that night I swear to God I died and flew to heaven from laughing.