Beautiful Mess (Completed)

Chapter Twenty Two

The Memory Of That Day

Kim Jong Wan

Garrett.

I follow them, (sorry Benedicta, your wish was not granted, hehe) I need closure.

My heart ached, longed for this woman for seven years and now she is right in front of me but with another man.

It can't be.

She promised to wait for me, she promised she will be mine for ever, she has to wait.

She has no other option.

I drive after them, I clench my fist around the steering wheel, my hand goes to the necklace on my chess t and I clench at it.

I follow them until they pull up into a Mcmasion in an estate, away from the rest of the world.

So this is where she thought she could hide from me? Can't say I am angry my mom conned me into staying for dinner with her.

I watch her get out of the car with the help of the man, my fist clench again.

If she is married, I don't know what I will do, I really don't know.
My chest gives a pang and I acknowledge that for the first time I am in pain and I need my drug.

I need Kismet.

I begin to get out of my car but I freeze when I see Mimi and a little girl step out of the house.

The girl runs to Kismet who gives her a kiss on the head before lifting her hands up for the man who carried her in.

I take a broken step back when I feel pain like fire lance through my chest.

I cry out, and immediately I see Mimi turn around, I clasp my hand around my mouth as I stand still in the shadows.

My heart aches so much I feel my eyes water. I stand still and wait until Mimi enters the house.

I don't know how I drive back to my house, I don't know how I make it to the elevator or how I get into my room.

But I do know that I break down, I break down so hard that I feel a fever come up on my body.

I lie on my bed in pain in the darkness of my room and I close my eyes as the pain washes over me.

So.

The sun rises, it sets it rises again and I have no idea what the time is.

I shiver, I writh, I roll, turn, curl and finally I get up before padding to my bathroom to throw up.

I glance at my reflection on the mirror and I give a tired, slow smirk.

So this is what defeat tastes like?
I go back to my bed and I lie still, taking a look at my life so far.

I don't regret what I have done so far, the only thing I regret is not meeting Kismet earlier in my life.

I lie for a while, I feel the fever wash over me and still I lie.

I have lost the will to live.

*****
Kismet.

I groan and roll away form the cold towel.

"Don't do that"
I say, swiping at Mimi's hand.

She sighs, exasperated.

"Just like you to return from a date with a fever"

"I was totally fine before.. It started as soon as I got to the hotel"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up and let me get a read on your temperature"

I quiet as she places the thermometer in my ear.

"Wow, this is pretty high"

She says as she removes it to look at Its reading.

After she makes me force down some pills and porridge I lie down.

The pills makes me groggy and I feel myself drifting.

"I don't even know why I am sick"

I say softly.

"Aww, my poor baby"

I hear Mimi say and I smile slowly.

"You know something Mimi?"

"Hmm mm, am sure you will tell me"

"I love you a lot"

"I love you too baby girl"

She says and I nod before continuing.

"I love Jasmin very much.... I also love papa, sometimes... I like Honey,.. She's a doll, a pretty lovely doll"

I say and I take a deep breath, she strokes my head and I close my eyes.

"You know who I love the most?..."
I ask but I don't let her answer before i continue.

"I love Garrett, yeah, I really do, I know you never liked him,.... I know I was a naive little idiot...." I laugh humorlessly... "I really..really liked him.. I even slept with him after our second date.. That's how madly in love I was with him..."

I take a deep breath.

"I guess all I am trying to say is that.... I miss him, I really miss him Mimi, I miss his smell, his touch, his taste, every thing... I miss him Mimi"

I say and even though my eyes are closed I feel the tears seep out and I turn around, my back to her.

She doesn't say anything but I feel her  get into bed with me, cuddling me, I still don't turn.

I don't cry, I feel so tired.
I open my eyes to stare at the wall.

I feel defeated.
So this is what defeat tastes like?
I close my eyes as I try to find the will to live.