Lost (Caspar Lee)

2/Tidal Wave

I noticed the 'welcome' mat in front of our door step that never altered since we left. Markus's last minute confession got me down to the dumps. I loved him dearly. I truly did, but It's all too late now. I let myself crash to the mattress of the couch and burry my head on the pillow.

"What happened back there in the airport?" Finn asked.

"A big deal of things." I huffed as flashbacks came running back. I shouldn't have done something right? All those opportunies  all went down to the drain.

"You made us do this,Lou." Jack reminded me.

"I know all right? Now can please stop reminding me. I knew what I did and I regretted it." I spat.

I stomped back to my old room and I did not even let him reply. A lot of things happened today and it has been overwhelming for me. A break what I needed, and being locked in my room without anyone who can trouble for a couple of hours was all I needed.

-

I faint knock was heard in the other side of my room. I shut down my laptop and opened the door leaving a limited space. I looked away when Jack was in front of my door.

"What do you need?" I said a little bitterly.

"I-Uhm was just wondering if you would want to come with us for a walk." He scratched the back of his neck.

I smiled weakly and turned down his offer.

My phone rang and Markus's name illuminated the dim room. I waited for a second and decided to ignore the call for today. I can't speak to him today. I am just not yet ready. Then, I decided to give a Sarah a ring instead.

We spent hours and hours speaking to each other and laughing at the most pointless things. Tears brimmed in the corners of my eyes and I tried my best to suck on all the strength that i can.

"What happened earlier in the airport? Markus didn't speak afterwards." She asked.

I paused. "He said something." I said hesitantly.

"What did he say?" She urged.

Should I really say it? I shouldn't make a big deal out of this. I had the option to not speak about this and leave it all alone, but I chose not to.

"He said that he loved me." I admitted.

"Oh." was all she could say.

"Are you mad?" I asked worriedly.

"What? Of course not! Look, I have to go now. I need to sleep." She laughed slowly.

"Okay. Good night. I'll talk to you soon." I said.

I decided to lay my head and try to sleep. I tried to shake all my thoughts away.

It felt like I  was trapped in a tidal wave of mystery slowly drowning me without any warning. But when I close my eyes, yes, it seemed like nothing changed at all. It is still very dark and I am still very lost.

[rewritten and unedited]