Lost (Caspar Lee)

5/Thoughts

It has been weeks and I have still been meeting with the strange boy, Caspar in the park at around four to five am on the same wooden bench every night. It felt like I had this strange connection with him that I never had. I still did not figure out why he looked oddly familiar. It was on the tip of my tongue. It seemed like that there was one little detail that I was missing out. 

I slipped on my shoes and brushed my hair. I decided to go out of this house while there was still daylight. My eyes felt heavy due to the lack of sleep, but there are nights that wherein I can rest for an hour or two. Sometimes when I am lucky I can sleep in about six divided hours but in some particular reason my sleep has been always disturbed in the same hour which was four am.

I walked outside the streets of my town with my hands inside my pockets. The cold wind caressed my cheek and sent strands of hair flying. It was quite odd to be outside the yellow sun present and the morose sky invisible.To be honest, I can buy sleeping pills at this hour and secretly take them without my brothers knowing but there was one simple yet important element that was stopping me, Caspar.

Caspar was the only one whom I have been talking in this town. Since we moved back here I haven't seen any familiar faces. Not even one. It felt like that everyone was avoiding me and I was a complete invisible entity to them. There are times, many of them that I thought that I was a hindrance to Caspar's life? It seemed preposterous that a person would his time on me. He could swiftly forget me and wake at the right time for his shift. I mean seriously,he could stop seeing me for it was only one night that he couldn't sleep again because of the fact that he awoken at an unreasonable hour and led him to a complete state of being awake.

I entered a small coffee shop. It looked very vintage and cozy. Black and white painting were hung loosely on the creme colored walls. It felt like home. The smell of caffeine welcomed me as I entered the shop. I approached the counter; a tall man stood behind it with a green with white apron wrapped around  his waist.  He smiled at me as I read his name tag, it read "Jon". I politetly ordered a cup of brewed coffee and paid for it. As welcoming the place looked I exited it right after I bought my coffee.

I drank from the white cup and the hot liquid soothes my throat. My feet led me to the same park where I always go in the dusk. Laughter from the children's mouths filled the place while the conversations of the adults did too. I sat alone in the same bench and let a lot of thoughts invade me. 

Maybe I should stop seeing Caspar and take the pills already. It was for the better right? So we can live our lives normally like any other would. My stomach clenched at the same thought that bothered me through the days.

Maybe I am just a speck of dust in Caspar's life and I should be swept away with the others?

-

[unedited]

dialogue-less chapter??