ich vermisse dich | january 20th

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i really hate to say this but yes i did push you away

i threw away everything about you as far as i could, wanting to forget every single little things related to you

because i hardly breathed when you were around

i hardly focused when you smiled

i didn't choose to be like this at the first place, neither did i want to fall for you this hard

but universe was playing with me

i saw you lately, with your cat-like lips drawn on your beautiful face

you're a brunette with a new haircut and i couldn't deny that you looked so good and so fresh

i couldn't remember exactly how everything turned out wrong

i was supposed to run

i was supposed to turn my heels so i didn't have to see your face

but i just stood there, froze like there were nothing around but us

my heart started to scream in agony

reality just hit me hard

i thought i did it

i thought i've got you out of my mind

but i was wrong

seeing you were nothing but fine just made everything worse

because i knew you never really vanished from there because you're always there

and i just realised that it was the sense of longing of you that took all of my breath and my sanity

i've just missed you so bad

ich vermisse dich, herr sirius. ich vermisse dich

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