dear beomgyu,

30

dear beomgyu,

that new year, i cried myself to sleep again. it was painful and heartbreaking beomgyu. i would understand it if you were already sleeping, but you saw my messages and ignored me. i felt so pathetic. i felt so useless and pitiful. i felt so disappointed with myself.

morning came and i woke up to seeing a lot of messages from you. i literally got up so fast while holding my cellphone.

<- beomgyu

—————Thursday, January 1, 2015—————

beomgyu
sorry for being
out of reach.
i had my reasons.

i wanted to avoid
you. i don't know.
it felt different. and
i can't explain it. | 5:14am

i don't want us
to fight again.
that's why i chose
to be distant.

it's my fault. | 5:16am

i miss you...
a lot.
i don't know how
to talk to you.
i was too shy to
make up for you.

i was stupid.
i had a lot of excuses.

i hated myself
for it. | 5:23am

i thought i was never
good for you. | 5:24am

i wasn't enough.
i hated myself
for making you
sad and hurt.

i'm sorry.

i missed you, vanna.
we're still friends,
right? | 5:26am